What I've Been Missing
by DarkWoods
Summary: Delena Road Trip 2.0, taking place the morning after All My Children 3x15. Started off as a one-shot, but due to requests, now In-Progress. Simple story of Elena getting out of town, and wanting Damon to escape with her. "I came because I need to get away, and I want you to come with me. Damon, I'm going with or without you. I was just hoping that it would be with you."
1. Chapter 1

"Disclaimer: 1) a renunciation of any claim to or connection with; 2) a disavowal; 3) a statement made to save one's own ass" ~Kevin Smith, Dogma

In other words, we all know we don't anything TVD, we all wish we did...down to every last snarky comment (insert eye-thing and sexy smirk here)

**A/N; I always get nervous when I open a story and there is no author's note...**

**So, this is my catharsis...my purging of everything I've been mulling over from every episode since crazy Stefan made Klaus blink and Damon said those fateful words, "It's right...just not right now." Although the last episode really set me off.**

**This is a one-shot...my muse wouldn't let be continue my other story, until I got this out of my system and back in the right Delena-frame-of-mind. **

**(P.S. Shameless promote of my other story...Twisted Switch; chapter 5 just updated...Elena a vampire? Katherine a human? Spell gone wrong, or spell gone right?)**

**Also, this may turn out be a little out of character...but my muse, and my Delena-soul, needed it.**

**Hope you like...Happy Reading!**

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What I've Been Missing

_Elena, Today I did things I abhor to protect the one thing I value most...my family. _

_If anyone can understand that, it's you. _

_Your compassion is a gift, Elena. Carry it with you, as I will carry my regret. _

_Always and forever, _

_Elijah_

Elena read the note over and over. She couldn't move past the ball of anguish deep in her stomach and the heaviness weighing down her heart. Her feelings of guilt wouldn't ease up. Guilt over Bonnie's mother. Guilt over deceiving Elijah. Guilt over throwing Damon's feelings back in his face. Elena just couldn't make it stop.

She took a long, deep breath. Stefan. She had tried to reach him the night of the ball, but it didn't seem to help. Was he really gone? Stefan had seemed so destroyed when she told him that her and Damon kissed. But he still seemed distant. How much longer could Elena hold out hope? Did she actually think they would get back together?

Elena fidgeted in her room. The idea of being all alone was driving her crazy. The house seemed so much bigger with no one in it, yet the walls felt like they were closing in.

Unwittingly, she read the note again. _Today I did things I abhor to protect the one thing I value most._ Words kept creeping into her mind. 'I will always choose you.' Elena couldn't keep her mind off those words. Those haunting blue eyes, boring into her, trying to make her understand that he would sacrifice anything for her.

_Today I did things I abhor to protect the one thing I value most._ She thought about the night Katherine had sauntered in with a bottle of Klaus' blood, saving Damon's life. Stefan had sacrificed his freedom, his humanity, and their relationship to save his brother.

Even Elena wasn't immune. _If anyone can understand that, it's you._ She did understand. She had sent her own brother away. Had his mind compelled...taken his choice away. Bonnie forgave her once for taking someone she loved away. Could she forgive her again?

Caroline's words echoed through Elena. Bonnie didn't want to see her, didn't want to talk to her. The more Elena thought about it, the more conflicted she became. She wanted to be there for Bonnie, to comfort her friend. She felt responsible, even if it had been out of her hands. It was because of her that Abby was turning into a vampire.

Elena considered anger towards Damon, but it just wouldn't come. She wanted to be mad, to hate him. She tried and tried but her mind kept coming back to Elijah's note. _If anyone can understand that, it's you._ She understood why he did it.

The emotions were rising up faster and faster. How could she not be mad at Damon for what he did to her best friend's mother? It wasn't right. Then again, nothing she was feeling was right. Elena had to get out of there.

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Elena sat in her parked car, cell phone in hand. She swallowed hard, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath as the phone rang.

_Hello?_

"It's me."

_I know it's you. What do you want, Elena?_

"I need you to come to the Grill. It's important."

_What's wrong?_

"Will you just...please, just meet me there...ok?"

There was a long pause on the other end of the phone. _Yeah, sure. I'll be right over._

"Thank you."

_Mm-hm...whatever._ The phone hung up on her.

She put down the phone and watched as Damon walked out of the front door of the boarding house, pulling on his jacket. He was half way to his blue Camaro when he saw Elena sitting in her car watching him. Damon narrowed his eyes. He started to walk her way, and she got of the car.

"Little creepy, don't you think? Calling me like a stalker from my driveway? What are you on a stakeout, or something?"

"Or something," she said quietly.

"Thought you wanted to meet at the Grill."

Elena shifted uncomfortably. "I just said that to get you out of the house. I didn't want Stefan to hear."

"And what exactly don't you want Stefan overhearing?"

She just stared at him. There was no mocking in his voice. No sexual undertones. Elena was used to eye rolls and eyebrow raising. The lack of Damon being Damon was making her terribly uneasy.

In her attempt to ignore all that, she was able to blurt out, "I have to get out of here!" He just looked at her with a bewildered expression. And when he didn't speak, Elena continued, "Damon, I need to get out of this town! At least for a little while."

"You came to tell me you're running away?" Damon drawled out his words, and gave the tiniest hint of a smirk. For some reason, Elena started to feel more at ease. This was what she knew. This was what she missed.

"Bonnie won't talk to me. She won't even see me."

"You do realize you're talking to the reason Mama Witch is in transition?"

"I know, but I just can't care right now. I understand why you did what you did." The words left her so fast, that Elena didn't realize what she actually said until she noticed the look on his face. It was contorted somewhere between pity and relief.

"Why are you here again?"

She took a deep breath, took a step closer, then said, "I thought you might know a place to escape to." She gave him a coy little smile.

"Don't, Elena. Don't do that."

"Do what?" Her smile had dropped, and she was starting to feel a little aggravated.

"That Elena-thing-you-do. That thing where you assume I'll do anything you want, anytime you want."

Elena knew he was right. When everything else was crumbling, she ran to him. When the floor fell out beneath her, she looked to him to catch her. Damon had become the person she assumed would always be there, and she was just now realizing that she took it...she took him...for granted.

"You're right." She took a moment to swallow her pride. "I know I do. I'm not sure if I mean to, but I'm sorry, ok?"

"Wow," Damon exasperated with a large roll of his brilliant blue eyes. "That apology was horrible. Are you not used to being wrong? Or do you not like admitting it?"

Elena was annoyed at just how right he was. "Look, I didn't mean to come here for a heart-to-heart."

"Why did you come?"

"I came," she didn't mean to, but she took another step closer, "Because I need to get away, and I want you to come with me." Elena paused to try and read his face, but he gave nothing away, so she continued, "Damon, I'm going with or without you. I was just hoping that it would be with you."

Damon let his face relax as her words washed over him. Then he furrowed his brow again, and he asked, "You're driving?" She gave him a nod. "Fine. I'll give you directions."

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After a while of driving, Elena finally asked, "So, where are we going?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes," she quipped with a tinge of annoyance.

Damon laughed, "What happened to the new you? The run-away-and-leave-my-problems-behind-Elena? Throwing cation to the wind got the better of you?"

She clenched her jaw, and stayed quiet. A moment later, a smiled crossed her face. "I just wondering if there would be alcohol there."

"So that's a no on the bible study? Ok, road house bar it is."

"Fine." She tired to sound triumphant, but Damon just laughed again.

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They finally arrived at a little dive bar somewhere in Raleigh, North Carolina. It looked a bit like Bree's Bar in Georgia. Elena wondered what Damon's fascination with bars like this was.

A big smile spread across Damon's face as they pulled into the parking lot. Elena couldn't help but be interested by the look on his face. "Pull over there," he informed her. "The bikers get pretty pissed when you take the spots in front."

"So how do you know this place?" She remembered the way he had greeted the owner of the last bar they went to together.

"I used to party at the college nearby. Don't worry. I always kept a low profile here."

They both got out of the car, and went into the bar. It was definitely a biker's roadhouse. It was still daylight and not too busy. Elena expected Damon to lead her to the bar, but instead he sauntered over to a small corner booth. He slid in and let out a sound like he had just slipped into a warm bath. "This brings back memories."

She gave him a sideways look and sat next to him. "What kind of memories?" But they were interrupted by a waitress with tattoos, piercings, and a pin-up girl hairdo. Damon ordered a couple of shots and a couple of beers. The jukebox started up, so they just sat and took in the atmosphere and waited for their drinks.

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"You know I haven't really eaten today...so, you might have to carry me out of here," Elena informed him as she downed her second shot.

"Yeah, well, you can sleep it off in the parking lot." He smirked, "Good to see you can still unhinge your jaw like a snake."

"It's good when some things don't change." Elena gave him a warm smile.

Damon started to smile, then stopped himself. "Elena, are we going to play this game all night? And don't say 'what game?' because you know perfectly well what I mean." When he looked at her, his eyes were filled with a mixture of hope and hurt. "Why did you ask me to come with you? Why come to me?"

"Do you want me to be perfectly honest?" Damon nodded, although he was feeling hesitant about hearing the truth. Elena continued, "I've missed you."

Just as he started to respond, the waitress came with another round of beers. Damon made a mental note to get back to what she meant. "I think we're gonna need some food. Does this place still have the best sliders in North Carolina?" The girl gave him a smile and said something annoyingly charming. "Great. Two orders. Oh, and if you still have those crab fries with the cheese sauce...we'll get some of them too."

After she walked away, Elena turned to him, "How much time have you spent in this place?"

"Are you trying to get me off track, Elena?"

"No." But she was. "I understand why you slept with Rebekah...by the way."

Damon raised an eyebrow. "I thought you didn't want to have any heart-to-hearts."

"I changed my mind."

"So, you understand why I killed Bonnie's mother, and now you understand why I had a tumble in the sack with Original Barbie. What suddenly made you become so insightful?"

"I'm not sure you'd want to hear why," Elena said cryptically.

He narrowed his eyes, but gave in. "Alright, so tell me...why did I sleep with Rebekah?"

"To hurt me." Elena sounded confident, and surprisingly without a trace of resentment.

"Eent," Damon made a sound like a game show buzzer. "Wrong."

"Am I?"

"Elena, did you ever think I slept with Rebekah because I just needed to get laid?" She blushed, and Damon obviously found this amusing. He gave her a sideways smirk. "Don't you ever need to just...get off?"

Elena had been peeling the label off her bottle of beer. She gathered her composure, and looked Damon straight in the eye. "Ok. Then why Rebekah? Why not some random girl at the bar?"

"She _was_ the random girl at the bar. It just worked out nicely for me that she was also a vampire."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Elena regretted the question even before she asked it.

He had his full 'Damon' on now. He gave her a suggestive eyebrow raise, and a cocky smirk. "You don't exactly have to be gentle." She tried not to scowl, but couldn't help it. He let out a little chuckle, followed by a heavy sigh. "Ready for me to change the subject? So...why have you missed me?"

Elena looked at him plainly, and watched as his cockiness dissolved. He patiently waited for an answer.

"I've missed you, because I've missed us. I've missed my best friend." She took a deep breath, "I'm tired of feeling guilty. All I ever do anymore is worry, and feel bad about things that I'm realizing I can't control. No matter what I do, someone always gets hurt. I can't save everyone. I can't keep people from getting hurt. And now I feel like I've pushed the one person away that I thought would always be there, and I miss it. I miss you."

Just as Elena ran out of breath, the waitress with perfect timing brought the two of them their food. Damon smiled awkwardly and thanked the girl. Elena was eying everything but Damon, but he couldn't help but just stare at her.

"So...you miss me?"

She brought her eyes up to meet his. Elena was surprised at how sincere and inviting his eyes were. She began to smile. "Yes Damon, I've missed you."

"We're being perfectly honest?" She narrowed her eyes, and slowly nodded. "I've missed you too."


	2. Chapter 2

"Disclaimer: 1) a renunciation of any claim to or connection with; 2) a disavowal; 3) a statement made to save one's own ass" ~Kevin Smith, Dogma

In other words, we all know we don't anything TVD, we all wish we did...down to every last snarky comment (insert eye-thing and sexy smirk here)

**A/N; So, this is really exciting to say...Back By Popular Demand! Wow! All the reviews were amazing! Thank you, thank you...thank you! This story was just going to be a one-shot, a way to work through the Delena ickiness from 3x14 and 3x15...but my muse got super excited by the reviews and story alerts, so here we go...Chapter 2!**

**Sorry for the delay, but I had to update Twisted Switch (7th chapter, Elena and Katherine are just now switching bodies...had to get it posted)**

**So, like I said, my muse got super excited...and ran away with this story. Have no idea where she's taking it (yes, my TVD muse is a girl... sometimes a very naughty one, which is where she decided Delena and alcohol should lead. Heads up...because of her, I may have to change this story to M) For now, I believe T is still ok...nothing happens in this chapter that the CW wouldn't air.**

**Not really sure where this plot will go, just letting the story write itself...Happy Reading!**

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What I've Been Missing

"_So...you miss me?"_

_She brought her eyes up to meet his. Elena was surprised at how sincere and inviting his eyes were. She began to smile. "Yes Damon, I've missed you."_

"_We're being perfectly honest?" She narrowed her eyes, and slowly nodded. "I've missed you too."_

Elena was still smiling at Damon. He missed her too. She felt better inside than she had in days.

Damon was now looking down at the food. He obviously didn't want to elaborate on the moment, but his demeanor had definitely changed. The mood was lighter. It seemed like the weight of the world had been lifted from them.

He was now wearing the same smile he had when they pulled into the parking lot. Then, he let out the same cute little noise he had when he slipped into the red vinyl booth. Damon being cute?

Damon being deadpan and resigned made her uneasy. Damon being Damon, with all his cockiness and snarky little comments made her feel comfortable. However, Damon being cute made Elena curious.

Elena was overly interested in this Damon. The Damon who seemed unguarded and opened. On second thought, it could have also been the alcohol.

"Wait until you try these fries...they are nearly orgasmic."

"Nearly?"

"Well," Damon raised an eyebrow.

Elena cut him off immediately, "Forget I said that."

"I can't promise."

"Just give me a fry." She picked up a fry, and went to put it in her mouth. Damon stopped her by grabbing her wrist.

"No, you have to dip it in the sauce." He took the fry out of her hand and dipped it into the cheese. Elena couldn't help but laugh a little. She opened her mouth, and he finally fed her the fry. The moment could have been very seductive on his part, but Damon was too excited about the bar food. "Isn't that so good?"

After she swallowed, she humored him, "You're right...amazing." Although, she had to admit the crab fries were some of the best she ever had.

For the next half hour they talked about the most obscure topics. They talked about music. Elena guiltily confessed her obsession with 80's rock. They talked about sports. Damon told Elena how he was secretly a basketball fan, and that's why he originally would hang out at the nearby college.

They were losing themselves in each others company. Damon and Elena were forgetting everything to do with Mystic Falls, and everyone in it.

"You were right," Elena sighed.

"I usually am," Damon said, but narrowed his eyes, "About what?"

Elena took the last bite of her last little burger, and made a little 'mmm' sound. "That was absolutely delicious. I'm starting to see why you like these kind of places."

"_These_ kind of places?"

"Roadhouses. There's something about them that's relaxing. You can just let go and be yourself." She started to sound a bit hazy and her eyes began to drift. "It's comforting to have a place to go, a place you can rely on...where you just put aside all the drama, and expectations, and having to do the right thing all the time...when you can just breath...just have a couple moments when the world isn't crashing down anymore."

Damon leaned close and whispered, "You're still talking about the bar, aren't you?"

She got a little flushed at all the comments she had just made, but said honestly, "I'm not sure." Elena's warm brown eyes had drifted back, and were almost looking through him.

They sat there silent for a moment, searching each others faces. Damon finally broke the graceless silence by starting to stack the empty plates on top of each other.

Their server came around to clear the dishes, and then asked if they wanted more beers. Damon held up his half full bottle and starting to shake his head, but Elena quickly interjected, "Thank you, another round would be great!" The girl smiled and walked away.

"You trying to get me drunk, Elena?"

"I'm pretty sure you can keep up?"

Damon smirked and took a long, long drink of beer. "So...is it working?"

"Is _what_ working?"

"Your little escape plan. Did it help?"

She narrowed her eyes, then sighed, "It helped, but the only way it'll really work is if I never, ever have to go back to Mystic Falls again."

"Elena..." he drawled out her name, giving her a look that told Elena he could see right through her act.

She asked obstinately, "What?"

"You almost sound half convincing. Keep working on it."

"I mean it Damon. What do I have there anymore?"

"Oh, let's see...friends who love you, a history teacher who has practically adopted you, more than one chance at a little bit of passion..."

"More than one?" She was trying to mimic his sneering, but her voice was tinged with curiosity and her mind was subconsciously toying with hope.

He gave her a quick, serious look in the eyes. Then looked away, and leered, "Well it's not like Matt or Stefan are excellent choices, but I'm sure you'd have your pick."

Damon let his clear blue eyes wander back to hers, but they were now looking down at the table as she dawned a new expression...sad.

"Right. The friends you talk about...one doesn't even want to see me, and the other is attracted to my mortal enemy. As for Alaric, you're right. He is my family, but I'm eighteen...and he does have his own life to lead."

"Since when did you become so pessimistic?"

Elena seemed to become slightly irritated, "I don't know. Maybe since I spent the night trapped in a cave with your homicidal booty call, and then Klaus didn't die...again!" Elena was obviously angry, and hurt. Damon could see it in her eyes. She took a deep breath, "Look, I'm going to go to the ladies room to freshen up. When I get back, can we go back to forgetting?"

Damon threw his hands up, "Sure. We can play that game where we pretend nothing is going on, and we act like everything is fine. You can lie to me, and can lie to you...and we'll both lie to ourselves." He paused for a minute. "Actually sounds pretty nice," he smirked at her, "I'm in."

Elena expected sarcasm, but he really did sound serious. He was also giving her puppy dog eyes, big blue puppy dog eyes. She was a little taken back, but managed to utter somewhere between an ok and a thanks before she disappeared into the ladies room.

Elena went into the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. She examined her appearance. Her hair was hanging down like it always did. She was wearing a green shirt with three quarter length sleeves and a white tank top underneath. Elena threw her purse on the counter.

She immediately pulled the green shirt off and stuffed it in her bag. Then Elena pulled out an elastic hair tie and the darkest lipstick she could find. She threw her hair back into a messy bun, something Elena never did. Then applied the crimson to her lips.

She looked back in the mirror, feeling satisfied.

Elena made her way back to the table. Damon wasn't there. Elena stood next to the booth, and looked out into the bar. She spotted Damon. He was dancing.

She forgot how much he loved to dance. Elena remembered how much fun they had dancing together at the 60's decade dance. Her mind wandered to another time they danced together. It hadn't been recent, but a while back. Barely touching, but eyes locked together. Elena pushed the memory out of her mind, and looked back to Damon.

He was wearing one of his simple black tee shirts. He also had a huge smile on his face. Damon was grooving with a woman in a tank top with a rose and skull on it.

Elena would have been jealous, but the woman was old enough to be her grandmother. Also, the woman was apparently having a ball. Damon took her hand, and dramatically spun her out and back in. He was also crooning away to her. Elena started to recognize the song. _Honky tonk woman. Gimmie, gimmie, gimmie the honky tonk blues. _The whole scene was making Elena smile.

When the song ended, she watched as Damon bowed to his lady. Then, he kissed her hand. It was sweet to see that his roots were still ingrained in the things he did.

He turned around, finally catching sight of Elena. His eyes grew wide. Damon liked the way she looked. His surprise lightened as he walked towards her, and his overtly sexual undertones materialized in his words, "Decided to let your hair down? Or up, as the case may be."

"Something like that." Elena sat down on the edge of the booth.

"Oh, no. You can't sit yet." She looked at him curiously, but he grabbed her hands and led her to the middle of the bar. "I have another song on the jukebox, and it has your name all over it."

When the music started, Elena immediately knew the song. Damon gave her a mischievous look. She just rolled her eyes and threw her head back.

_Tommy used to work on the docks  
>Union been on strike, he's down on his luck<br>It's tough, so tough_

Damon grabbed her hands and started to move her arms back and forth. He gave Elena one of his classic smirks, but it soon turned into a big smile.

_Gina works the diner all day  
>Working for her man, she brings home her pay<br>For love, for love_

Damon swung her out and back in again. Elena laughed as he started to sing along with the lyrics.

_She says we've got to hold on to what we've got  
>It doesn't make a difference if we make it or not<br>We got each other, and that's a lot  
>For love, we'll give it a shot!<em>

More people were now out on the floor dancing with them. Damon pulled her closer to him.

_Oh, we're half way there  
>Oh oh, livin' on a prayer<br>Take my hand, we'll make it I swear  
>Oh oh, livin' on a prayer<em>

With the lyrics _Take my hand, _he took Elena's hand and held it to his chest as he scrunched up his face and sang _we'll make it I swear. _It almost reminded her of Damon's 'way to a vampire's heart' lesson.

_Tommy's got his six string in hock  
>Now he's holding in, what he used to make it talk<br>So tough, it's tough_

_Gina dreams of running away  
>She cries in the night, Tommy whispers<br>"Baby it's okay, someday"_

He took Elena's arms and put them around his neck. They were so close, and looking into each others eyes. He smiled at her, "So, is the song helping you pretend?"

"The dancing helps too," she smiled back at him.

When the song came to it's end, Damon bowed to her, and reached out for her hand. Instead of kissing it, he pulled her quickly towards him and landed a kiss on her cheek. He pulled back, and looked at her satisfied. "Thanks for the dance." Damon smirked, and started to saunter back to the table.

Elena started to follow him, but turned back around towards the jukebox. She leaned down unto it, found the exact song she was looking for, and smiled. She turned around and saw Damon staring straight at her. He had one hand up over the back of the booth, and was giving her a cocky little sideways grin.

She walked back over and slid next to him. "What are you smiling about?" She asked suspiciously.

"Among other things," he glanced at their tattooed waitress walking to the table. She placed four shots on the table, four lemons, and a shaker of salt. Without saying anything, she smiled at Damon...then Elena...and walked away.

Elena was suspiciously eying up Damon, "Was that smile for the waitress or-"

"The shots," he had cut her off extremely quickly, and sternly. "Tequila?" She attempted to pick up a shot glass, but he covered it with his hand, "Didn't anyone ever teach you how to properly drink tequila?"

"I know how to drink tequila," Elena protested.

"Oh yeah? Well, I'm going to teach you the best way to do it."

"Best way?" She was giving him a demure little smile, and had her eyebrows raised. He shushed her and gave her a mysterious sideways glance.

"Ok, salt," he picked up the salt shaker. "Lick," he licked his wrist. "Shake," he shook some salt on his glistening wrist. "Lick," he licked the salt. "Now, suck," he took the lemon in his mouth and sucked the juices from it. Then, he downed the shot.

Damon had managed to make every word drip with sensuality. "I thought you ended with the lemon," Elena said, trying to suppress her uncomfortable feelings.

"I told you. I was going to teach you a better way." He raised an eyebrow, "Now you."

She rolled her eyes, but let him play director. "Fine. Show me."

"Ok. So, lick your wrist. Now the salt. Lick it again. Now, suck the juices out of the lemon and hold them in your mouth." He slid the shot towards her. "Ok, now do the shot." Elena threw it back and felt the alcohol mix with the sour juices in her mouth. "Good, right?"

She just smiled, "Very tasty." A minute later she felt the alcohol warm her belly. She was definitely buzzed.

He took the salt shaker back. "Ok, my turn." Damon looked up at her through his thin, yet dark eyelashes. His face held no smirk, no snark, nothing she was expecting. Instead, he was just candid sexy.

This time, Damon took Elena's wrist and licked it. She was shocked, a little too shocked to move, so she just let him continue. He shook some salt on her, and licked it off. Damon took the lemon in his mouth, then did his shot. Elena still didn't say a word. He looked down and right into her eyes.

Elena tried not to hold her breath. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing." A smirk started to cross his face. "Drinking tequila," he said nonchalantly. He handed her the shaker of salt. He looked out to gaze at the crowd, and casually threw his arm up across the booth again. Elena still had her eyes boring into him.

When her breath returned, she started fondling the skinny salt shaker. "So...lick. Shake. Lick. Suck. Shot." She looked at him like she had asked a question, instead of drawing out each one of her sub-textual words. Damon was trying to play it cool, but he could feel his body start to tense.

As hard as he tired, Damon was still utterly and over the moon attracted to Elena. More than that, he still loved her. Even though the old Stefan was returning, a small place in his heart, a place he had wanted to keep locked up tight, still held the smallest amount of hope. Elena's road trip invitation had definitely started to turn the key.

"You're a fast learner," he said wiggling his eye brows. He wasn't going to let her beat him at his own game. Elena just smiled. She was no doubt buzzed from their afternoon of drinking, but that didn't stop him from being dumbfounded at what she did next.

Elena turned in the booth and brought her knee under her, so her whole body could face Damon. She turned her head to the back of the booth and grabbed his wrist. She brought it to her mouth, and slowly ran her tongue across it. Damon froze.

After pouring salt in her hand, Elena started to sprinkle it on Damon's moisten wrist. Neither one of them made eye contact. They both focused all their attention on what Elena was doing. She lowered her mouth back down, and licked off each grain of salt.

She turned back to the booth and put the lemon to her lips. Elena looked him straight in the eye when she started to suck. Damon was still frozen.

Elena smiled, then downed the tequila. She stared at him again. Still frozen, Damon's mouth had fell open a bit. She let out something between a sigh and a laugh, and said, "I may be a fast learner, but you're a pretty good teacher."

Her comment must have awoken something in Damon because his expression changed from stunned to some sort of hungry growl manifestation. His eyes raked over her.

It was Elena's turn to freeze. Luckily, she was miraculously saved by the change of song on the jukebox. Her eyes lit up, and she exclaimed, "This is my song!"

Damon's animalistic expression dissolved, and he rolled his eyes, "You would play this song."

Elena shrugged, and hopped out of the booth to make her way to the dance floor. The excitement had obviously spread thru the bar, that was now filled up for happy hour. Woo's and catcalls could be heard from girls as they also made their way to the dance floor.

_Love is like a bomb, baby c'mon get it on  
>Livin' like a lover with a radar phone<br>Lookin' like a tramp, like a video **vamp**_

Elena was singing along with the words. She felt the need to emphasize the last word, while making direct eye contact with Damon. He tried to only raise his eyebrows, but he couldn't contain the smile across his face.

_Demolition woman, can I be your man?  
>Razzle n' a dazzle n' a flash a little light<br>Television lover, baby, go all night  
>Sometime, anytime, sugar me sweet<br>Little miss innocent sugar me, yeah_

Damon watched as Elena started to move with some of the girls in the crowd, who were also absolutely loving the song. As girls do, they were singing the lyrics to each other while overly excitedly tossing their hair around.

_Come on! Take a bottle, shake it up  
>Break the bubble, break it up<br>Pour some sugar on me  
>Ooh, in the name of love<br>Pour some sugar on me  
>C'mon, fire me up<em>

Elena now turned back around to Damon. Only this time, she started slinking back to the booth.

_Pour your sugar on me  
>I can't get enough<em>

_I'm hot, sticky sweet  
>From my head to my feet, yeah<em>

She stood in front of him, and practically begged, "Come dance!" Damon never really needed to be convinced to bust a move. It wasn't like he was actually going to say no to Elena, but he crossed his arms anyway. There was a smug determined look on his face, even though he had one eyebrow raised.

Elena knelt in font of him, and Damon let her grab his arms. She pulled him up and out of the booth with absolutely no resistance at all. She smiled triumphantly, grabbed one of his hands, and led him to the dance floor.

_You got the peaches, I got the cream  
>Sweet to taste, saccharine<br>Cause I'm hot, so hot, sticky sweet  
>From my head, head, to my feet<br>Do you take sugar? One lump or two?_

As they danced dangerously close to one another, Damon couldn't help but sing along with some of the words. He had his mouth close to her ear when he emphasized _I'm hot_ and _sticky sweet_. She rolled her eyes, but couldn't help but shudder under his hot breath.

_Ooh  
>Pour some sugar on me<br>Yeah! Sugar me! _

The song ended and he pushed her down into a dip. She smiled up at him and he felt her whole body start to relax. He held he dangling over the dance floor. Elena completely trusted Damon. No matter what happened, no matter how they had hurt each other, she still trusted him with her life. Deep down she knew Damon would always protect her.

He slowly raised her back up to him, and brought her in close. Damon in his basic black tee shirt, holding Elena in her simple white tank top. She tensed a little at their closeness, but then the next song started.

_Got a picture of your house  
>And you're standing by the door<br>It's black and white and faded  
>And it's looking pretty worn<em>

They stood frozen for an instant. Then Damon looked deep in her eyes, and kept his grip tight around her. "One more?"

"I guess," Elena said in almost a whisper. The song was slow, and there were only couples on the dance floor.

_I don't need to be the king of the world  
>As long as I'm the hero of this little girl<br>Heaven isn't too far away  
>Closer to it every day<br>No matter what your friends might say_

Damon narrowed his eyes at Elena. "Did you play this song?"

She tried to look innocent, "No. Must have been someone else." Elena let a sly little smile creep across her face. She recalled the music video, and being drawn into the bad boy rocker's eyes. Elena couldn't help but think that she must have a thing for alluring baby blues.

_How I love the way you move  
>And the sparkle in your eyes<br>There's a color deep inside them  
>Like a blue suburban sky<em>

"Mm-hm...whatever," but Damon smiled, warmly. He brought his gaze down, then rested his check against her hair.

_When I come home late at night  
>And you're in bed asleep<br>I wrap my arms around you  
>So I can feel you breathe<em>

They just swayed to the song, not talking, just breathing. Lost in the moment, they tried to keep reality at bay.

_Now the lights are going out  
><em>_Along the boulevard  
>The memories come rushing back<br>And it makes it pretty hard_

No fancy moves. Just Damon's hands on the small of her back, and Elena's arms tight around his neck. Hanging onto a moment that wouldn't last, they desperately tried to forget everything.

_I've got nowhere left to go  
>And no one really cares<br>I don't know what to do  
>But I'm never giving up on you<em>

Pretending, loving the lies they were creating.

_Heaven isn't too far away  
>Closer to it every day<br>No matter what your friends say  
>I know we're gonna find a way<em>

Damon and Elena just danced slowly to the music.

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**Final A/N; Hope you don't mind how steamy things got... if it's too out of character, you can blame it on the alcohol... my muse did :)**

**Songs; The Rolling Stones, Honky Tonk Woman**

**Bon Jovi, Livn' on a Prayer**

**Def Leppard, Pour Some Sugar on Me**

**Warrant, Heaven**

**(not sure where all the 80's rock came from, but I think they fit the story pretty perfect)**

**Hope everyone likes...if you do, review. If not, still review :)**


	3. Chapter 3

"Disclaimer: 1) a renunciation of any claim to or connection with; 2) a disavowal; 3) a statement made to save one's own ass" ~Kevin Smith, Dogma

In other words, we all know we don't anything TVD, we all wish we did...down to every last snarky comment (insert eye-thing and sexy smirk here)

**A/N; So, this chapter just came pouring out... Hope you don't mind, LOL... Maybe it was all the reviews and story alerts :)**

**By the way, the reviews are AMZNG! (Feel bad that I haven't PM-ed anyone personally...is it tacky if I start now? Hope you said no, because I am going to make it my goal of the week to answer them all...k? Nice.)**

**If I were naming this chapter I'd call it... Let's Play Pretend :)**

**Now onto the story with the run-away plot that's writing itself... Happy Reading (and Reviewing!)**

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What I've Been Missing

_He brought his gaze down, then rested his check against her hair. They just swayed to the song, not talking, just breathing. Lost in the moment, they tried to keep reality at bay._

_No fancy moves. Just Damon's hands on the small of her back, and Elena's arms tight around his neck. Hanging onto a moment that wouldn't last, they desperately tried to forget everything._

_Pretending, loving the lies they were creating. Damon and Elena just danced slowly to the music._

Elena had moved her hands to Damon's arms, her fingers gripping into his shirt. "Elena...?"

"Hmm...?" She also had brought her head down to rest on Damon's shoulder.

"The song's over," he said with the tiniest hint of a smirk. His words seemed to rouse her from some kind of dream like state. Elena quickly raised her head, trying to avoid his eyes.

She looked around, embarrassed that they were the last ones left on the dance floor.

Damon and Elena made their way back to the booth. They were just settling in when their waitress laid another round of shots on the table. They must have both looked confused, because she promptly explained, "These are from the couple over there at the bar. They like your taste in music." She looked over her shoulder and a slightly older couple raised their glasses to them.

Damon raised his glass to them and downed the shot. Elena followed suit. It was whiskey.

The girl then added, "They also told me that they have a pool table reserved in about an hour, if you'd like to join them."

Damon looked at Elena who just smiled. He turned back to their server, "Tell them we'd love to." The jet-black brunette smiled and walked away.

"They like our taste in music," Elena purred. She wasn't quite drunk, but she was a bit passed tipsy.

"Yeah...I think it's time Elena slows down on the shots." He raised both eyebrows. Damon had meant it as a statement, but it came out as almost a question. He had officially reached his point of being buzzed. "Maybe we should both slow down..." He trailed off, then regained focus, "Are we done forgetting, yet?"

Elena quickly yelled, "No." She realized how loud was so she lowered her voice, and leaned towards Damon. "No, we are not done...how did you phrase it," she pretended to look puzzled, "Lying to ourselves, and each other."

Damon rolled his eyes. "Don't quote me, Elena."

"I'm not trying to mock you, Damon. That's exactly what I wanted today."

"To lie to yourself?" Damon was beginning to sound a little agitated. However, his tone changed and his ice blue eyes melted when he looked up and into her face. It was somewhere between desperation and realization.

"I try to make all the right choices," she sighed, "But it doesn't even seem to matter. People leave, people die, and none of it changes anything. I just want...I just wish I could make it all work out...but, no matter what, someone always gets hurt. I'm just so tired of doing everything right all the time."

"So, don't." His words were gentle and whispering, but also had a roughness to them.

"If I don't," she closed her eyes, "I feel bad." When she opened them, he was looking directly at her. There was something written across his face. A look she hadn't seen since he had uttered those fateful words on her porch. _It's right, just not right now._

"Elena," Damon paused to make his point, "Have you ever tried to just make yourself happy, and let everyone else take care of their own lives?"

She took a deep breath, and tried to steady herself. "Damon, I..." She wanted to protest in some way. Tell him he was wrong, but couldn't find the words. "I don't..." Deep down, she knew he was right. She was so concerned that her happiness would effect others, that she didn't even know what she wanted anymore. Then she instantly became frustrated. "Ok. This," she moved her hands back and forth between them, "Isn't pretending everything's fine."

"Alright. Fine." Now Damon was frustrated. "But before we go back to _pretending..._we should really talk about St-"

"Don't say his name."

"Excuse me?" Elena's intense reaction had thrown Damon for a loop.

She let her gaze relax as she looked down. "I just can't...I just...not right now."

"Elena, I think we have to. There's some things-

"No! I just don't want to right now." Her brown eyes shot up, with fire in them.

"Damn it, Elena! Stop cutting me off," he said in a defeated, but irritated tone.

They sat there looking at each other for a minute, before Elena let her gaze drop down again. Damon narrowed his eyes and looked down at his beer.

The silence grew a little less tense as Elena let out a round of heavy sighs. Damon just glanced at her sideways.

When she had let out her last weighted breath, Damon finally spoke, "If you breath like that one more time, you might pass out." Elena glared at him, and took a long breath in, and let it out dramatically. Damon couldn't contain his throaty chuckle. "What are you five?"

"No, I'm buzzed." She had a stubbornness in her voice, and on her face. Her annoyance was starting to amuse Damon.

"You are way beyond buzzed. I can tell, because it's getting harder..." he smirked, but continued, "To lie to yourself." Damon let is eyes do that classic thing he did.

"Damon!"

"_Elena_..."

She couldn't help but let the corners of her lips curve into a smile at the way he mockingly said her name. The more she tried to fight it, the more she couldn't stop grinning. She was about to laugh, but caught her breath instead.

Damon had quickly moved intoxicatingly close to her, and was tucking a fallen piece of hair behind her ear. Elena forgot how to breath as he looked down at her lips. She couldn't bring herself to look away from his clear blue ocean eyes. She was trapped in them.

Finally her breath returned when he scooted back to search her face. He began to whisper, "Elena, I don't want to fight you on this anymore, so I'll make you a deal."

She narrowed her eyes. "What kind of a deal?"

"We'll go back to forgetting...to lying...to pretending," he raised his eyes at looked at her. He was deadly serious. "Until last call..."

Damon had trailed off, waiting for her to respond. She still had her brow furrowed. "And then what?"

"Then...we talk."

"Until last call? You won't mention Mystic Falls, or anyone in it?"

Damon smirked and shook his head, "I didn't say that. I said I'd go back to pretending." Elena started to huff, so he cut her off, "I promise to pretend everything is ok. That everything is fine. All sunshine and rainbows, or whatever." He rolled his eyes, but he seemed sincere.

"Fine. We'll pretend a little longer. Then, after last call, we'll talk." They clinked their bottles of beer together to seal the deal. Damon took a long sip, but Elena couldn't help herself. "Unless I get drunk and forget," she said quickly before she took a drink as well.

Damon narrowed his eyes, but refrained from bothering about it. The couple who sent the whiskey to their table were walking towards one of the pool tables. "Do you still suck at pool?"

"What? I don't suck at pool!"

"Good. Prove it," he smirked at her, and scooted her out of the red vinyl booth.

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Damon and Elena were half way through winning a game of pool against the couple who had sent them the round of shots. They had mostly made how-do-you-do small talk, but had managed to learn some interesting facts about the couple.

Even though they were only in their late twenties, 28 and 29 to be exact, this was already the second marriage for both of them. They had apparently met in a rough time in their lives. It also had to be love at first sight, because Elena was shocked to learn that the couple eloped in Vegas only three months after knowing each other.

Elena was also shocked that Damon thought that was sweet.

"So how long have you two been together?"

Damon leaned on his pool stick, and started to speak, "Oh we-" He was about to tell the strawberry blonde woman that they weren't together, but Elena cut him off, like she had been doing all day.

"Five years," Elena smiled. Damon just narrowed his eyes, but decided to play along. The theme of the day was pretending after all.

The strawberry blonde cocked her head, "You look so young."

"I'm older then I look. So is he," she gave Damon a little smirk. He just narrowed his eyes again.

"How did you meet?" She was obviously the talker in the relationship. Unlike Damon, her husband was the strong, silent type.

Ms. Strawberry Blonde's husband was just an inch taller than Damon, and was wearing a baseball cap. Damon had a feeling he always wore a baseball cap.

Damon turned to Elena, "How did we meet, _honey_?" He grinned at her, and she just gave him a deliberate smile.

"Well, it was when I was in high school. He corrupted me," Elena joked, "Older guy and all." She was oddly reminiscent of some memory that never happened.

"I _tried_ to corrupt you, but you slapped me the first time I tried to kiss you." Elena looked confused at first, then annoyed when he continued, "It was one night, during a football game. I was in the parking lot trying to seduce her...and then, she just nailed me right in the jaw." Damon was actually amused, which made Elena a little more annoyed. "I was actually very impressed. It's not everyday you get hit by a woman like that."

Elena was looking at Damon in amazement. A second ago, she was truly annoyed. Damon would have compelled her to kiss him if she hadn't been wearing vervain that night. How could he remember it so fondly? Still, his words echoed in her, making Elena just stare at him. _It's not everyday you get hit by a woman like that._

The strawberry blonde looked intrigued. "Wait...don't you mean 'hit like that by a woman'...?"

"No." Damon came around to stand next to Elena, and continued, "I meant...by a woman like that." He smiled, then looked down at Elena. She was still looking at him with a little bit of wonder.

"You really hit him?" Mr. Baseball Cap had decided to join the conversation. He was apparently astonished that this little thing would battle anyone.

"Yeah...well, she _was_ dating my little brother." Damon shrugged, and let a smirk touch one side of his mouth.

Elena narrowed her eyes, but smiled, "And he had a thing for my twin sister."

Damon clenched his jaw, but tried to smile, "But...it obviously all worked out." He grabbed Elena by the waist, pulled her close, and placed a kiss into her hair. Her usual reaction was to push him away, but instead she just let herself go.

"Yep. Everything worked out." She leaned up to place a kiss just to the side of his mouth. It wasn't a real kiss, but Damon couldn't help but tense up a bit.

Elena felt his reaction, and couldn't help but smile to herself.

"I still remember the first girl who ever hit me." Mr. Baseball Cap smiled, and looked at Damon. "You're right, that kind of thing stays with you."

"So, you dated his brother," she looked between them, "And you, dated her _twin_ sister? That's impressive to get over. It must be something special." Her smile was as warm as her hair.

"Well, no relationship comes without baggage," he said to his wife. "When we met, she just got out of rehab."

"And he just got out of jail."

"It was nothing major. I did a couple of weeks for a bar room brawl."

"And it wasn't really rehab. It was for gambling."

"She had a thing for the ponies," he gave her a funny little smile. "But we got thru it," Mr. Baseball Cap came to put his arm around Ms. Strawberry Blonde, "Just like you two have."

"Yeah, I think we did..." Elena spoke softly. She trailed off just before she felt Damon give her a tight squeeze around her waist. She was a little disappointed when he let her go to take his shot at the eight ball.

He missed.

"So, what did it for you? What sealed your fate as a couple?" She was talking to Elena, but watching her husband try for the eight ball as well.

Another miss.

"Oh, I don't know it was a lot of things I guess." Elena also missed the eight ball.

"Just name one then." Ms. Strawberry Blonde barely tried to sink the ball. Her husband just rolled his eyes.

"Well," Elena paused as Damon pretended to line up his shot, but really he was hanging on her every word, "There was this one time...I had just gone through something pretty horrible, and he promised he'd never leave me." Her eyes looked up and saw Damon looking at her across the pool table, with an unreadable expression. Was it wanting?

The couple looked between them, then Mr. Baseball Cap's wife broke the silence, "That is so sweet."

A moment later, their now-favorite waitress came up to them carrying a tray with four beers. "These," she set them on the high top table, "Are on the house." The girl smiled, and walked back towards the bar.

Damon finally took his shot, and sunk the eight ball. He gave Elena a quick hug. They had won the game.

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Afterward, the guys decided to play just the two of them. They had decided the girls talked too much. The two of them watched as Damon and Mr. Baseball Cap played pool with barely any conversation. Them on the other hand, had a lot to say.

Elena and Ms. Strawberry Blonde sat on bar stools and started to talk a little about their relationships.

"So, I really do hope the both of you put all that baggage behind you. You dating his brother, him dating your sister. I just hope you've both moved on."

"Why do you say that?" She barely knew Elena, but talked like she had known her forever.

She looked thoughtful for a moment, "Because I see the way he looks at you. It's the same way my Daddy looked at my Mama." She jumped off the bar stool. "You are one lucky women," she smiled.

Elena smiled back at her. "It looks as if you are too." Ms. Strawberry Blonde just nodded her head as she walked away from Elena and towards her husband. She gave him a high five, then he pulled her into a sweet gentle embrace and kissed her.

Elena was watching them almost in awe. So much so, that she didn't notice Damon sneak up next to her. "I let him win," he whispered in her ear.

He had startled her. Damon smirked. When she jumped, Elena also let a smile escape her lips.

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**Final A/N; (A little Behind the Scenes/Making of...What I've Been Missing) So, when Damon says _I promise to pretend everything is ok. That everything is fine. All sunshine and rainbows, or whatever. _I originally made him say _sunshine and roses_, but it didn't feel quite right. I couldn't place the quote (so I Googled it) and remembered...Sylvester Stallone in Rocky Balboa (2006).**

**Below is the quote from the movie. I included this, because I actually thinks it suits Delena...not to mention, the whole TVD fandom. (Can't you see Damon yelling this at Elena, in the middle of a rainstorm or something?)**

_Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward._

**(Fun Fact...Though I'm not a crazy Rocky fan, I do live about 10 minutes from the Rocky Steps in Philadelphia)**

**Lastly, you may have to wait for a little, tiny, wee bit for the next update... Twisted Switch really needs to be updated (and I guiltily started another story...I know, too many balls in the air. But, I actually had the idea to write it before I started Twisted Switch. It's a huge breath of lemon-freshness, and seems to also just be pouring out of me.)**

**Alright, enough with the way-way-way-too-long author's notes :) See you soon!**


	4. Chapter 4

"Disclaimer: 1) a renunciation of any claim to or connection with; 2) a disavowal; 3) a statement made to save one's own ass" ~Kevin Smith, Dogma

In other words, we all know we don't anything TVD, we all wish we did...down to every last snarky comment (insert eye-thing and sexy smirk here)

**A/N; So, so sorry for the lack of updates... Last week I was out of town, visiting someone in the hospital... returned home, and left my power charger behind... Now, I'm back out of town again, visiting them again... But, the writing has given me a great outlet (when I get a minute or two)**

**This chapter is more of a drabble, but I wanted to get _something_ posted... It was supposed to be the next chapter of Twisted Switch, but this was half written already... (anyone who is following my other story as well, Chapter 8 is on the way... Promise!)**

**Side note; I actually had this chapter edited and ready for it's final 'look over' the night before. but apparently my open office was in recovery mode, so I lost all my changes... But (loosely) in the words of Damon... I've had time time to process it, and move on... _I had an hour to realize what a bad idea it was to leave you here alone, process it, and move on. Are you ok? _Lol :)**

**I actually think I like the new changes better... Happy (albeit, short) Reading!**

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What I've Been Missing

"_Because I see the way he looks at you. It's the same way my Daddy looked at my Mama." She jumped off the bar stool. "You are one lucky women," she smiled. _

_Elena smiled back at her. "It looks as if you are too." Ms. Strawberry Blonde just nodded her head as she walked away from Elena and towards her husband. She gave him a high five, then he pulled her into a sweet gentle embrace and kissed her._

_Elena was watching them almost in awe. So much so, that she didn't notice Damon sneak up next to her. "I let him win," he whispered in her ear._

_He had startled her. Damon smirked. When she jumped, Elena also let a smile escape her lips._

Damon's eyebrows went askew. "Why are you so smiley?" He inquired, as he peered at Elena slightly suspicious, but amused.

She shook off whatever thought he had interrupted. "I'm having fun," she said in a determined voice that was full of contentment.

"Are you?" He still had his eyebrow raised.

"_Yes_," she said, trying to mimic his tone. "Can't I have fun? I told you I _used_ to be fun."

Damon relaxed his eyes. "You're still fun." He stated confidently.

Elena looked thoughtful for a moment, then continued. "No," she sighed, "I'm all drama...and life or death." Her big brown eyes had wandered down, but they immediately shot back up brightly, "But I'm having fun tonight."

Elena was smiling at him again, and he couldn't help but smile back. "I'm sure the copious amount of alcohol you've consumed has helped." His voice was teasing, but warm.

"Copious?" She muffled a laugh behind her hand. "Did you really just say _copious?_"

"You thinking that's funny, just proves my point."

"Damon, I'm not that drunk."

He got a little bit of a smirk, and he whispered to her, "Copious." Elena just glared at him.

"I told you...I'm not-"

"That drunk...yeah, yeah." He rolled his eyes, and looked away from her. "So, if it's not the _copious_," he paused to look at her. She just glared again. Damon laughed. "So, if it's not the booze, what then?"

Elena hopped off the bar stool, as her thigh accidentally grazed the bulge in Damon's jeans. She had her back to him when she said, "Believe it or not, you're not the worst company in the world."

When she turned around, his eyes were burning into hers like two little hot blue flames. "Elena." He seemed to growl her name, rather than speak it.

The state Damon was in was making her body flush. She had lost control of the situation, so Elena decided to retreat. "I...I'm..."

"Yes?" He crooned in a cocky tone.

That did it. She found her resolve and stated, "I'll be in the little girl's room." She started to saunter away, looking back over her shoulder. "I'll be back."

She gave him a sexy smile as he watched her walk away. Damon let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, and certainly didn't need. Maybe it was the last round of shots, or his last beer...but Damon couldn't let it go. Moreover, he couldn't let her go.

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There was a long hallway in the back of the bar that led to the woman's bathroom. Along the way there was a stairwell, a staff only door, and the men's room. Elena had just turned the corner heading back out, and saw Damon resting along the wall. "Are you following me?"

"Yes." His voice was deadpan, but drop dead sexy.

Elena began to tighten her lips, but then let them slip into a flirty little smile. She moved herself in front of Damon. "So, you're following me to the girl's room. Why?"

No one was around, so Damon used his vamp speed to turn them both around. Elena's back was now against the wall, and he was surprised that her body didn't tense up in fright. She had remained completely limp, in spite of her self.

When she spoke, however, her breath was raspy. Instead of keeping her composure, she started to feel her whole body blush. She said his name like it was a question, "Damon?"

"I want to apologize..."

"We made a deal, remember?" Elena said in almost a whisper.

Damon smirked, "I want to apologize for being into your sister." She gave him a menacing glare, but he continued anyway, "Don't worry...she was just the warm up act." By the time Damon finished his lips were next to her ear. He pulled back to look in her eyes. His were full of playful seduction. "I'm also sorry if I'm making you uncomfortable. It's not my intention."

She just glared at him again, but said, "Hm-mm...of course it is. You always put an alternate meaning behind everything you say."

He smirked, and crinkled his nose. Then Damon leaned back down to her ear. He let his hot breath make her shiver before he spoke, "I bet you think about me...even when you don't want to."

Elena rolled her eyes, but instead they almost rolled back into her head. Without looking at her, he brushed his lips along her jaw and found her mouth without touching it. Damon paused, like he was waiting for something.

He gently, with precise slowness, took her top lip in between his. Damon jumped back when Elena accepted his bottom lip into her mouth and grazed it with her tongue.

Damon and Elena's eyes must have been closed tight, because they both shot their eyelids open violently. "Elena, you were supposed to slap me..." he said in a breathless, bewildered state.

Her pleasantly surprised shock turned to frustrated indignation in a flash. "What?"

Damon stepped back closer to her, even though her body was in full defense mode now. "Elena... I... you..." Damon was at a loss for words, but then got a cocky little smile. "You kissed me back."

"Damon, I'm drunk." She was whispering again.

His cockiness dissolved into a little bit of hurt. "You're not that drunk."

Damon moved even closer. Elena started to protest, "Traveling down memory lane is the exact opposite of forgetting."

He grabbed her hands, and held them behind her back. In doing so, it brought their bodies together even more. It also made her look deep into his lusty blue eyes. "I said I'd pretend...not forget."

If Damon's eyes hadn't been enough to make her body go weak, then his voice definitely did. Elena purred his name, "Damon..." She had moved her eyes down to gaze at Damon's lips.

Then let her wrists go. She let out a faint whimper, as her eyes looked back into his. Her hands stayed behind her.

Damon stepped back, but she continued to look up at him. "You're right. It's not last call yet."

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**A/N; I know the compulsion scene wasn't verbatim... that was intentional (for some reason I feel I need to stress this... I don't want anyone taking away my TVD Obsession Card or revoking my Delena Membership) LOL :)**

**Sorry if there are a few errors here and there... Remember, reviews are love! Happy 1912! (about Damon... I mean, about damn time... LOL)**


	5. Chapter 5

"_Disclaimer: 1) a renunciation of any claim to or connection with; 2) a disavowal; 3) a statement made to save one's own ass" ~Kevin Smith, Dogma_

_In other words, we all know we don't anything TVD, we all wish we did...down to every last snarky comment (insert eye-thing and sexy smirk here)_

**A/N; Hi...Remember me? So...would it do any good to apologize for being away so long? I'll try anyway...I'm so, so, so, so, so, so sorry that I haven't updated in eons! I have had major writer's block for this story (remember, it was just supposed to be a one-shot), but I think my muse is done punishing me for whatever I did to piss her off...**

**Now that she's back on board, and I'm actually really happy with this. Get ready for another music filled chapter, only less 80's rock and a little bit more country (Kev Williamson would be happy with some of my music choices, lol)**

**I also want to thank every single reader who has reviewed, has story alerted WIBM, and added it to your favorites list! I am so grateful to everyone of you! I need to give a few quick shout-outs; to bassy...who asked (with a cherry on top) to update this story in her review of Twisted Switch (my other story); Dsalvatore6 (aka Taylor)...you'll see when you read (Go Pack!); and finally, hazel...everyone can thank hazel for this update, without that last review, I may have never written this chapter :)**

**Happy Reading!**

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What I've Been Missing

_He grabbed her hands, and held them behind her back. In doing so, it brought their bodies together even more. It also made her look deep into his cool blue eyes. "I said I'd pretend...not forget." _

_If Damon's eyes hadn't been enough to make her body go weak, then his voice definitely did the trick. Elena purred his name, "Damon..." She had moved her eyes down to gaze at Damon's lips._

_Then let her wrists go. She nearly let out a faint whimper, as her eyes looked back into his. Her hands stayed behind her._

_Damon stepped back, but she continued to look up at him. "You're right. It's not last call yet."_

Damon backed up further and leaned on the opposite wall, directly in front of Elena. With her hands still behind her, she used them to steady herself against the wall. Damon and Elena's eyes were burning into each other, both with utter frustration. They each let out a heavy sigh.

Damon's frustration seemed to be a battle within himself; some sort of internal conflict that was raging in his stormy blue eyes. While Elena's personal battle was happening externally, and it showed over her whole body.

The state Elena was in was not lost on Damon. She had pure fire in her eyes. He noticed the flush in her checks, and the movement of her chest as she quietly sucked in short little breaths. Elena's pretending was coming apart at the seams.

The edges of his mouth started to creep up into a crooked half-smile. Elena narrowed her eyebrows, and tried to roll her eyes. "What?" Her voice came out half way between an annoyed utterance and a raspy little cry.

Damon's smile grew, and he started to walk away. "Are you coming?" he smirked. "Or do you need a minute?" She began to glare at him again, but only because she really did need a minute.

"You know," she said as she pushed herself away from the wall, "You really can be a jackass sometimes."

"Only sometimes? Am I losing my touch?" He still had his cocky smirk firmly in place, as he reached out his hand for her to take.

Damon had seemed to recover from his inner battle, so Elena decided to shelf hers for a while. She couldn't help but let one corner of her mouth twitch into the smallest trace of a smile as she took his hand. "Most of the time."

He rolled his eyes, smiling all the while. "That's probably more accurate." He gripped her hand and have her a little tug. "Come on, let's go play some more make believe."

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Not even half an hour later, Damon and Elena had given up their cozy little red-vinyl booth. They were now sitting at the bar with their new best friends, plus their new best friends' friends.

Elena was sitting on a bar stool next to Ms. Strawberry Blonde, whose name was Carly, Elena learned. Her husband's name was Noah.

"So, then what?" Carly asked with a big smile.

"Well, we show up," Damon took a swig of his beer, "And nine other families brought chilli."

Elena rolled her eyes, while Carly just laughed. Damon had spent the last several minutes weaving some of their shared moments into entertaining little stories that never happened. Elena was actually being entertained at how he was spinning things. She almost believed that they shared a fun little history, empty of supernatural catastrophes.

Carly raised a bottle of beer to her lips. When she set it back on the bar, she looked at Damon. "Another story?"

Damon just laughed. "Ok," he agreed, "One more." Elena couldn't help but smile at him. "So there was this one time we were hiking with her step-dad, and I ended up throwing her into the river." He gave Elena a mischievous grin. Elena tried hard to glare at him, but her bright smile betrayed her.

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"Ok, we need a change of pace." Carly hopped off her bar stool. "Elena, want to help me pick out some music to play?"

"Sure," she said, as she hopped off her bar stool as well.

"Please don't play it," Noah groaned to her.

Carly put on a playfully innocent smile. "Play what?"

"You know what."

"No clue what you're talkin' bout, baby," she laughed, hooking her arm with Elena's and dragging her toward the jukebox.

Noah turned to Damon. "I swear, the more she drinks, the more southern she gets."

"I heard that!"

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Damon was watching Elena laughing with Carly. He was vaguely listing to the random sports talk going on next to him between Noah and two of his friends. Damon's attention was much more focused on his make believe girlfriend in her little white tank top, and messy hair-do. She was leaning across the jukebox, tapping her finger on it.

He couldn't help but stare. It had been a while since he saw Elena smile as much as she had been that day. It made him feel so good to see her that way. Damon was so happy to see her in such a good mood. It really did seem like she was having fun. As he stood their watching, he started to wonder the last time he had as much fun as he was now having.

Damon noticed as Elena looked up and saw him staring at her. She said something to Carly and started to walk back towards him, leaving Carly at the jukebox. As Elena got closer, Damon leaned back and put his elbows on the bar. She bravely got close to him, and leaned up to whisper in his ear. "Now look who's all smiley."

Before she could pull away, Damon grabbed her arms and whispered back, "I think I have a good reason." His warm breath sent a shiver down her spine. She tilted her head enough for them to make eye contact. He let go of his grip on her arms, and put his elbows back behind him. He gave her a lighthearted smile. "I'm having fun."

Elena relaxed her tension, and returned his smile. "Good. You need to have more fun."

A bewildered expression came over Damon's face. "Me?" he exasperated. He looked at her cheeky little smile, and couldn't help but smile back. She was obviously having fun pushing his buttons. "I'll work on that," he smirked. "So, play any good music?"

"Maybe," she said as a song started to play.

_There's somethin' 'bout the way  
><em>_The street looks when it's just rained  
>There's a glow off the pavement<em>  
><em>You walk me to the car<br>And you know I wanna ask you to dance right there  
>In the middle of the parking lot<em>

Damon looked at her, and furrowed his brows together. "Taylor Swift? Really?"

_We're drivin' down the road  
>I wonder if you know<br>I'm tryin' so hard not to get caught up now  
>But you're just so cool<br>Run your hands through your hair  
>Absent mindedly makin' me want you<em>

_And I don't know how it gets better than this  
>You take my hand and drag me head first<br>Fearless  
>And I don't know why but with you I'd dance in a storm in my best dress<br>Fearless_

"You know this song?" He didn't answer, just rolled his eyes. Elena laughed. "You're a closet Taylor Swift fan, aren't you?"

_So baby drive slow  
>'til we run out of road in this one horse town<br>I wanna stay right here in this passenger's seat  
>You put your eyes on me<br>In this moment now capture it, remember it_

Damon was saved by Noah. "You know, it's not really a good idea to leave her alone with all that country music."

"Ha, ha," came a voice from behind them. It was Carly, finally returning from the jukebox. "You know deep down you love it."

"Extremely deep down." Noah rolled his eyes, then turned to Elena and smiled. "Should I be worried?"

Elena smiled back. "She did put in a twenty." Noah jokingly threw his hand across his forehead. Carly just gave him a playful scowl, that was immediately replaced by a squeal when the next song started.

"This is my song!" Carly exclaimed. Elena laughed at her, while Noah just gave the biggest playful eye roll she had almost ever seen.

_Big wheels keep on turning_

_Carry me home to see my kin_

She walked up to her husband, and threw her arms around him.

_Singing songs about the Southland_

_I miss Alabamy once again  
>And I think its a sin, yes<em>

He grabbed her tight into his arms, then lifted her back onto her bar stool. "Do you think you'll be able to ever go near a jukebox without playing this song?"

"Probably not. I mean, how can I not play this. This is my state's song."

"You're from Georgia."

"Yeah, but my gran-daddy's from Alabama." Noah rolled his eyes at her.

_Sweet home Alabama  
>Where the skies are so blue<br>Sweet Home Alabama  
>Lord, I'm coming home to you<em>

Elena was really enjoying the couple and their lighthearted banter. She turned around to see that Damon had stopped paying attention. And by the looks of it, he stopped paying attention a while ago. He was in an intense conversation with one of Carly and Noah's friends; a woman with dark curls and bright green eyes. His eyes were bright and he had a big smile on his face.

Elena tuned out from Carly and Noah, and tuned in to eavesdrop on Damon. "That game was amazing! I can't believe you were at it!" Elena must have been staring, because Damon motioned her over. "Elena, this is Sophie."

The girl smiled brightly and extended her hand. "Nice to meet you. Are you as big a basketball fan as Damon?"

Elena was trying to beam, but somehow couldn't. Something was nagging in the pit of her stomach, and she wasn't sure what. Fortunately her weak smile was lost on Damon's new friend, but not completely lost on Damon. He gave Elena a very quick odd look, but she kept her focus on Sophie. "Not really. I come from more of a football town."

"I still can't believe you're a Duke fan," Damon interjected. "Elena's step-dad is from Duke. Me, I'm NC state...all the way."

Sophie threw her head back and laughed. "You're kidding. You know, that is just not right."

Damon smirked, "What can I say? Go Pack!"

Now they shared a laugh. Elena quietly interrupted, "I'm going to step outside for a minute."

Damon looked straight at her, and with a gentle tone that nearly caught her off guard, asked, "Do you want me to go with you?"

She tried to smile and shook her head. "No. I'm fine. I just need some air. Sophie, it was really nice to meet you."

"You too," she smiled back.

Damon just stayed quiet as she grabbed her jacket and made a beeline for the door.

/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/

Once outside, Elena let out a heavy sigh. She slipped on her jacket, and took another deep breath. She shook her hands out as if she was clearing the air around her.

There was a large wooden porch attached to the front of the bar. It had rope lights stretched over every line and curve. Elena walked to the end of the porch, gaining a little quietness from the music playing inside. She leaned on the wide wooden surface, and looked out into the rather large parking lot.

A few scattered street lights splashed irregular spotlights on the pavement. There was a far off highway that made the cars look like fairy lights in the distance. For the parking lot of a roadhouse biker bar, it had a relaxing kind of beauty.

Elena was taking it all in, staring out into the darkness past the parking lot, when Damon's voice startled her. "What are doing out here...all by yourself?"

"I told you I just needed some air." She hadn't turned around, and her voice was flat when she spoke.

"Mm-hm." She still had her back to him, and he was becoming a little annoyed. "What is it, Elena? Whaaat?" He gave an overly exaggerated eye roll.

Abruptly, and unexpectedly, she turned around and yelled at him. "I thought you said we were going to talk." Damon smirked, and narrowed his eyes at her. "I'm ready to talk now," she informed him, irritation dripping off her words.

He stated his words simply, and calmly. "Well, I'm not."

"I want to talk."

"I don't."

"Well, I do!"

"Damn, Elena! When did you get annoying drunk?"

"I am not drunk," she quietly stammered.

Damon let out a dry little chuckle, and moved a little closer to her. "Face it honey...your drunk."

Elena was beyond annoyed. She was now angry. Though more then anything, she was attempting to suppress the nagging feeling that was weighing her down. "Fine." She gave Damon a tight lipped smile. "Forget it. Let's just try to have fun," she said as she pushed past him.

Damon turned around, but stood planted where he was. "I was having fun."

She whipped around so fast, that Damon could of sworn she used vamp speed. "So, what? You're going to sleep with her like you slept with Rebekah?"

"Oh, is that what this is? We can have fun together, as long as all my attention is focused on you."

"No, that's not..."

"Elena, I'm not sure if you know this or not, but our friendship does not come with a 'Damon can't sleep with other people' clause." Elena had no words. A fiery blush rose in her checks, and she just glowered at him. This time, he pushed past her. He only took a few steps before turning back around, asking, "Are you coming back in?"

"No." She sounded like a stubborn child.

"Well, I'm not leaving you out here alone."

"I'll be fine."

"Elena," he said through gritted teeth, "What the hell is your problem?"

She just stared at him. She really didn't know what her problem was. Damon was still looking at her, so she just started to stammer, "You...I never...you just." Elena gave up trying, and just continued to stare at him.

"Elena, get inside." He was obviously annoyed, but spoke in a deadpanned voice.

"No," she she stated confidently.

Damon stepped closer to her. "Elena, I can still throw your ass over my shoulder and make you..."

She cut him off by wrapping her arms around him, and covering his lips with hers. She could feel the shock in his body, but it only lasted a fleeting moment before he was kissing her back. In another second, his arms were around her, pulling her in tight.

Their kiss had begun fierce and needy, but the longer their lips stayed pressed together, the more gentle it became. Elena pulled back for air, but could only take a quick breath before Damon was passionately devouring her lips again.

She brought her hands up to rake through the back of his hair, as Damon roamed his hands all over the small of her back. There was an electricity in their kiss that Elena had never felt before. It was pulling her in, and drowning her. In that moment, there was nothing else.

This time Damon pulled away. He was looking down into her eyes, searching her face the same way he did the night he had kissed her own her own porch. The same night Damon had told her if he was going to feel guilty about something, it would be for more then unspoken feelings.

She felt herself start to smile. Then Damon immediately let his face drop, and he let her go. He had stopped searching her face, and his eyes had gone distant. He was looking past Elena, into the vast darkness beyond the parking lot. Without looking at her, he whispered, "Don't think that changed anything."

"What?" Elena was completely taken back. She had kissed him, and he had kissed her back. She backed away and glared at him.

He seemed to be ignoring her as he spoke. "Are you ready to go back inside now?" She just continued to look at him with the most confused expression across her face. Damon wasn't being cocky or callous or anything else she expected him to be. If anything, he seemed resigned.

"No."

He reached out his hand for her to take. "Elena, it's cold. Besides, I told you I'm not leaving you out here all by yourself." When she didn't put her hand in his, he forcefully grabbed her hand. "Come on, Elena. It's not safe."

She pulled her hand away, and brought it across his face. She looked him dead in the eyes. "No." As soon as she did it, Elena wished she hadn't. She had just slapped him and she thought he would be angry, but he just gave her an vacant expression.

"Elena..." But when he looked into her unforgiving eyes, he just narrowed his. "Fine, stay out here. Freeze, for all I care." Damon threw his hands in the air, and turned to walk away.

With equal emotions of anger and embarrassment, Elena turned and walked back to the end of the porch. She wondered what had happened in the last twenty minutes to change her happy mood of forgetting to one of regret and complications.

It didn't take her long to realize that she was overwhelming jealous when it came to Damon. Finally thinking it out load and admitting it to herself should have made her feel better. But after what had just happened, all she felt was worse.

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Elena finally came back inside after what had felt like an eternity, but in reality had only been about ten minutes. She let her eyes roam to the bar, but couldn't find Damon.

Carly was sitting at the bar, talking with the bartender. He had baby blonde hair, and a deep tan. He looked more like a surfer than a cowboy, but as she got closer she heard them talking about county music. Noah seemed to be hanging over the jukebox with a serious look of contemplation on his face. While their friend Sophie was playfully hitting one of Carly and Noah's other friends in the arm. He was rather tall with extremely short hair and a five o'clock shadow on his perfectly chiseled jawline.

Carly welcomed her with a bright smile, "You're back."

Elena smiled and asked, "Have you seen Damon?"

"He said he was going outside with you."

"He didn't come back in?"

Carly shook her head. Elena's eyes darted back to the door and in strolled Damon. He hadn't left her alone outside. She knew that he must have been watching her the whole time. He had kept an eye on her, made sure she was safe. He stayed.

Damon sauntered over, like nothing happened. Like they hadn't just fought. Like she hadn't just slapped him. Like they hadn't just shared a passionate make-out kiss.

He came up next to her and sat on the bar stool right behind her. She was a little dumbstruck at how normal Damon was acting. He was even smiling at her. Elena had a stunned Damon-had-two-heads kind of look on her face. He ignored this, snaked an arm around her waist, and pulled her into his chest. He placed a kiss into her hair, and looked at Carly. "So...what did I miss?"

She was about to speak, when Noah came back over to join them. "Just my wife getting more southern."

"You know you love it," Carly replied as she pulled him in close for a quick kiss.

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Carly and Noah had only been bantering back and forth for a short while before Damon asked them to tell a few stories. It turned out that these two had lived pretty interesting lives. They had already learned that the couple had both been married before, but it was also fascinating to hear that Carly used to compete in horse shows. They also found out that Noah had joined the Peace Corps right after high school.

Although, Elena could only half concentrate on what they were saying. Every few minutes Damon would tighten his grip around her waist. She was still surprised, and absolutely baffled, by his casual behavior. She had no idea what was going on inside his head.

Carly just finished telling them about the first time their families met, when a new song started to play.

_Here I am, I'm in the wrong bed again  
>It's just a game I just can't win<br>There you are breathin' soft on my skin  
>Still you won't let me in<em>

Damon drew his brows together, and leaned around to look Elena in the eye. "Did you play this song?"

"No." Damon glared at her, and narrowed his eyes further. She glared right back. "I didn't."

_Why save your kisses for a rainy day  
>Baby let the moment take your heart away<em>

"I did," voiced Noah, "Thought we could use some more Leppard." He gave them a careful look, then added, "You two should go dance."

"Oh...um, I don't think..." Elena began to protest with a trying smile.

She felt Damon get off his bar stool. "Noah's right." He grabbed Elena's hand. "We should dance." Before she could stop him, they were in the middle of the dance floor.

_Have you ever needed someone so bad, yeah  
>Have you ever wanted someone<br>You just couldn't have_

"Damon, what are you doing?" Elena said as Damon held his hands firmly on the small of her back.

She couldn't see his face because of their closeness, but she could almost sense a cocky grin on his face.

"Well, right now we're dancing Elena."

"You know what I mean. Are you just going to act like nothing happened?"

_Did you ever try so hard  
>That your world just fell apart<em>

"Isn't that what you usually do?" Elena didn't even bother to glare at him. She just gritted her teeth, and pulled away. She tried to leave him on the dance floor, but he grabbed her by the hand. Damon spun her back into his arms. "Where do you think you're going?"

_Have you ever needed someone so bad  
>And you're the girl I gotta have<em>

"Damon, I am not doing this with you."

"Do what exactly? Play these little games? Isn't that what you've been doing all day?" She tried to pull away again, but he wouldn't let her. "Ok, ok. I'll stop." Damon kept his grip on her, holding her tight, until she stopped fighting to get away.

_There you go, midnight promises again  
>But they're broken by the dawn <em>

When she finally relaxed in his arms, Damon spoke again. "You know, I can't help but think. If all this was real, if it was you and I and nothing else to get in the way...that I might have a shot."

He pulled away enough to look at her. Damon kept one arm around her waist, and took one of her hands in his. He held it between them.

_You wanna go further, faster every day baby  
>But in the morning you'll be gone<br>And I'm alone _

"Damon," she whispered. If the kiss they just shared had pulled her under, then the emotions pouring from Damon's eyes had woke her up. She was at a loss for words. She didn't know what to say to make it better; to fix what she must have done.

_Every dream I dream is like  
>Some Kinda rash 'n' reckless scene<br>_

"Look...I'll make you another deal."

"What?" she said gently, with a small smile. It was almost like they had unspokenly apologized to each other.

_To give out such crazy love  
>You must be some kinda drug<em>

"We forget what just happened."

"You want to forget?" Elena was surprised, and a bit hurt.

_And if my time don't ever come  
>For me you're still the one <em>

"Just for a little while...at least. I can blame it on you being drunk, and you can blame it on me being me." She was going to glare at him, until she saw the pleading in his eyes. "Just say yes, ok?"

"Ok...yes."

_Damned if I don't, damned if I do  
>I gotta get a fix on you<em>

"Besides, by this time tomorrow, none of it will matter." He pulled her back in close, and breathed into her hair. "We'll be back in mystic falls and everything..."

"Damon, stop it." Elena pulled back enough to look at him. Damon had a bit of a concerned look on his face, but it started to fade when she spoke. "I'm not ready to talk about going back yet."

_Have you ever needed someone so bad, yeah  
>Have you ever wanted someone<br>You just couldn't have  
><em>

He gave her a warm little smile. "Eventually, we do have to go back."

"No, we don't." she smiled back at him.

"Yes, we do." Damon pulled her closer...tighter.

_Did you ever try so hard  
>That your world just fell apart <em>

"What if I don't want to go back."

"You'll change your mind."

"What if I don't."

_Have you ever needed someone so bad  
>And you're the girl I gotta have <em>

"Too many what if's." He breathed into her hair again. "For now," he whispered, "Just dance with me." She nodded, and couldn't help but let her head fall against his. So, they did. They just danced. Damon held her tight, and when the song ended he almost refused to let her go.

/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/

"I think I want to play one more song."

"Do you want me to..."

She quickly cut him off, "No, it's ok. I'll meet you back at the bar."

"Ok." He still had a tight grip on her hand. Their eyes were piercing into each other. Damon finally let go, and both their hands instinctively fell. He gave her a quick little smile.

Elena couldn't help but be drawn into the little twist at the corner of his mouth, and the light pouring from his smoldering electric blue eyes. He looked like he just walked her home from a first date, and didn't want to lose her to the front door of her house.

She couldn't help but be tickled by the imaginary butterflies dancing around in her stomach. She had seen that look before. From Matt, the first time he had walked her home by himself, before he could drive. Elena had also seen Stefan give her that look the night they didn't kiss, and just talked all night instead.

But, she had never noticed that look from Damon. And what was now amazing her, what was now making the butterflies swirl, was the fact that he could look at her like that, after all this time. After all they had been through. All the hate, all the fights, and all the life that got in their way. How did he have the ability to look at her and make her feel brand new?

/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/

Her heart sank just a bit when she turned around from the jukebox and found Damon not only talking to Sophie, but also to another girl. She had dirty blonde hair with caramel highlights. The girl didn't seem to be wearing any makeup, but she was pretty enough that she didn't need it.

Elena took a deep breath, and went back to the bar to join them. Right away Damon pulled her next to him and put an arm around her. Her heart rose a bit. Sophie greeted her with a big smile, then said, "Elena, this is Mia...my girlfriend."

Elena felt bewildered inside, and it didn't help that Damon was now pulling her tighter to him. She managed to smile and reach for the outstretched hand. "It's nice to meet you."

Mia shook Elena's hand and said, "You too. These two haven't been boring you with basketball talk all night have they?"

Elena laughed. It was a real genuine laugh. With that every single one of her interpretations lifted off her shoulders, and she felt her chest lighten as it filled with the sweet air of relief. "Not all night."

Damon rolled his eyes, and Sophie just laughed. "She hates most sports," pointing to her girlfriend.

/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/

"Here, Elena." Sophie patted the bar stool. "Take my seat. We're going to get in a quick game of pool with Carly and Noah before the bar closes."

Damon was sitting in the seat next to them, resting his elbows on the bar. He had become bored of the conversation the girls had gotten into. No more basketball. They had been talking about some teen drama on television. He had rolled his eyes, not understanding how anyone could have so much to say about people that weren't even real.

Elena hopped up on the bar stool, and scooted it closer to Damon. He just gave her a sideways glance. She had her whole body turned straight towards him, so he turned around to face her as well. When he did, she realized how close she had gotten. Their knees were now touching. "So..."

"So?" They sat there looking at each other as a new song filled the bar.

_He is sensible and so incredible  
>And all my single friends are jealous<br>He says everything I need to hear and it's like  
>I couldn't ask for anything better<br>He opens up my door and I get into his car  
>And he says you look beautiful tonight<br>And I feel perfectly fine _

Damon narrowed his eyes. "More Taylor Swift?" Elena just shrugged as the song continued to play.

_But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain  
>And it's 2am and I'm cursing your name<br>You're so in love that you act insane  
>And that's the way I loved you<br>Breakin' down and coming undone  
>It's a roller coaster kinda rush<br>And I never knew I could feel that much  
>And that's the way I loved you <em>

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Nice song."

"Like it?" She raised her eyebrows a bit.

_He respects my space  
>And never makes me wait<br>And he calls exactly when he says he will  
>He's close to my mother<br>Talks business with my father  
>He's charming and endearing<br>And I'm comfortable _

"You know why this is all a little hard to believe, right?" Damon sighed, but with a bit of snark in his tone.

"Yes," Elena said plainly. They were still staring each other down. "You know, you don't usually talk this way."

_But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain  
>And it's 2am and I'm cursing your name<br>You're so in love that you act insane  
>And that's the way I loved you<br>Breakin' down and coming undone  
>It's a roller coaster kinda rush<br>And I never knew I could feel that much  
>And that's the way I loved you<em>

"What way?"

"Saying exactly what you mean?"

"I always say what I mean," he said with a cocky grin, trying to brush off the weight of their conversation.

"What you _really_ mean."

_He can't see the smile I'm faking  
>And my heart's not breaking<br>Cause I'm not feeling anything at all  
>And you were wild and crazy<br>Just so frustrating intoxicating  
>Complicated, got away by some mistake and now<em>

He just looked into her honest eyes. "Well...I've had too much to drink."

"Me too."

_I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain  
>It's 2am and I'm cursing your name<br>I'm so in love that I acted insane  
>And that's the way I loved you<br>Breaking down and coming undone  
>It's a roller coaster kinda rush<br>And I never knew I could feel that much  
>And that's the way I loved you oh, oh<br>_

Just as the the song ended, and another one began, the bartender yelled, "Last call!"

Damon looked at her, and couldn't help but smile. "I'm ready to leave, if you are."

She narrowed her eyes, but just a bit. "I'm nowhere near ready to go back home." Her words were soft and quiet. "Is that ok?"

"Guess it'll have to be." Damon stood up. Elena could have sworn she saw him place more than a couple hundreds underneath their bill. "It's not like either of us are in any shape to drive."

"Good," she said satisfied.

"Good," he mockingly agreed.

"Damon?" Elena looked up at him through her lashes, as he helped her put on her coat. "Does this mean we have to talk now?"

He smirked. "Yes, it does."

/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/

**Final A/N; Well, I hope it was worth the wait... I have to say, it was a bit torturous to write... But, at least it's nice and long to make up for not updating in way too long...**

**If anyone is still out there following this story, I'd love a little review (just a little feedback to know if I should end this story in two more chapters, or make it a little longer... remember, this was the story with the runaway plot, so any direction you want the story to take, just let me know)**

**Now the song list; Fearless, Taylor Swift**

**Sweet Home Alabama, Lynyrd Skynyrd**

**Have You Ever Needed Someone So Bad, Def Leppard**

**That's the Way I Loved You, Taylor Swift**

**(Ps... the Taylor Swift for a few reasons; one, I love her... two, Kevin Williamson loves her... and three, remember Damon's line about being able to stand Taylor Swift?)**

**Til next time, Happy Reviewing!**


	6. Chapter 6

"_Disclaimer: 1) a renunciation of any claim to or connection with; 2) a disavowal; 3) a statement made to save one's own ass" ~Kevin Smith, Dogma_

_In other words, we all know we don't anything TVD, we all wish we did...down to every last snarky comment (insert eye-thing and sexy smirk here)_

**A/N; To everyone reading this for the first time, Hello... And to everyone who has been following this story, Welcome Back (I'm so sorry it has been so long... I had seriously thought about abandoning this story completely, but I just couldn't)**

**So... After a very long time and a lot of on-again-off-again writing, the second to last chapter of this story is finally, finally complete... This chapter is all about Damon and Elena stopping their pretending and getting down to the nitty-gritty aftermath of emotions of 3x14 and 3x15 (Dangerous Liaisons and All My Children) I really hope it does the rest of the story justice... Just remember, they've had a lot to drink (hence the roller coaster of emotions and anything OOC)**

**I really, really hope you like :) Happy Reading!**

_**I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain  
>It's 2am and I'm cursing your name<br>I'm so in love that I acted insane  
>And that's the way I loved you<br>Breaking down and coming undone  
>It's a roller coaster kinda rush<br>And I never knew I could feel that much  
>And that's the way I loved you<strong>_

_**Taylor Swift, The Way I Loved You**_

/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/

What I've Been Missing

_Just as the the song ended, and another one began, the bartender yelled, "Last call!"_

_Damon looked at her, and couldn't help but smile. "I'm ready to leave, if you are."_

_She narrowed her eyes, but just a bit. "I'm nowhere near ready to go back home." Her words were soft and quiet. "Is that ok?"_

"_Guess it'll have to be." Damon stood up. Elena could have sworn she saw him place more than a couple hundreds underneath their bill. "It's not like either of us are in any shape to drive."_

"_Good," she said satisfied._

"_Good," he mockingly agreed._

"_Damon?" Elena looked up at him through her lashes, as he helped her put on her coat. "Does this mean we have to talk now?"_

_He smirked. "Yes, it does."_

When Elena first drove to the Salvatore Boarding House that morning, she wasn't exactly sure what she was doing. She just knew that she needed to get out of her house. It was then that Elena realized she had nowhere to go.

A part of her felt like she didn't have the right to be at the Boarding House after everything that had happened, but at the same time she felt as if it was her second home. Once she had gotten there, Elena realized that she didn't want to see Stefan...she wanted to see Damon. She missed him.

Now here they were, Elena trying to keep up with Damon as they left the bar they had spent all day in. As they walked, she started to realize just how far away they had parked. They were in no shape to drive after consuming multiple beers and various shots...including one last round of tequila.

Still feeling the slight burn in her belly, Elena let her mind briefly wander to their drinking lesson earlier that day. Lick. Salt. Shake. Lick. Suck. She blushed against the cold at the memory of Damon licking salt from her wrist. Elena smiled, remembering Damon's surprise when she was brave enough to do the same to him. Now, he seemed to be racing across the parking lot.

An unbidden memory entered her mind. She recalled Damon walking away from her earlier that night, after she had slapped him. Her heart had flooded with relief when Elena saw him walk back through the door. He had stayed outside with her, not wanting to leave her alone. Damon wanted to keep her safe. He always protected her.

Of course, after that he had acted like nothing had happened. Elena had been so shocked. Thinking back, she silently wished that she hadn't been. Then Elena could have enjoyed Damon's intimate actions. She could have savored leaning back into him as he firmly held her to his chest, a strong arm around her waist.

She had managed to keep her thoughts at bay for most of the day. Their intimate events had been an amazing distraction. Elena had wanted to escape, and she had. After all the times she had thought about it, Elena finally had done it. She had run away, with Damon by her side.

Elena was now two steps behind Damon and they nearly to the car, when she finally shouted, "So, I'm assuming you know a hotel or a bed and breakfast close enough to walk to."

"Yep," Damon called out. She could see him smirking over his shoulder. "It's called Bella Vettura."

Elena stopped dead in her tracks, and started to frown. "That's Italian for car."

Damon turned around to gape at her. "How do you know Italian?"

"How do you?" She put a hand on her hip, and nearly stumbled a bit in doing so.

He gave her a sideways smile, and took a few steps closer. "Salvatore..."

"Oh," she simply stated in a defeated tone. Damon stepped even closer, and there it was...that pull. That fine line they both had been balancing on all day. Damon's eyes looked like a deep blue storm, and Elena couldn't help but be pulled in.

She couldn't help but let her mind wander to all the times they danced that day. After their first, he had bowed to her and kissed her check instead of her hand. The last time they had danced that night, Elena had fought him at first. She gave in to him when he pleaded with her to just dance with him. Damon didn't want to let her go when the song was over.

Elena still wanted to know why he'd been acting like nothing happened outside the bar. She was confused, and deep down was afraid that Damon regretted the passionate kiss they had shared. She was scared that she had pushed him away too many times. Elena was finally seeing what she wanted, even if she still felt like it was something she shouldn't have. Elena didn't want to think that she might have already lost Damon.

The more she thought about losing him, the more Elena replayed their burning kiss. His mimicked words from so long ago had awoken some feral emotion in Elena. Damon had taken her back to a moment, and emotions had flooded her. The only thing she could think to do was give in.

That wasn't the first time she had given in that night. When they had been playing pool, pretending to be a real couple, Elena had let him grab her by the waist and place a kiss into her hair. It was such a sweet and normal gesture. It had made the kiss she placed to the side of his mouth seem and feel so natural.

Elena wished she could peer into Damon's mind and see what he was thinking through all their kisses that evening, especially the one they shared in the bar's back hallway. She was still baffled at Damon's fond memory of their interaction in her high school parking lot. What he said still got to her. _It's not everyday you get hit by a woman like that._

It was obvious that Damon hadn't expected Elena's response. His first reaction had been shock...pure shock. After that, he had felt a wave of excitement. Damon never imagined that she would actually let him kiss her, let alone kiss him back. He was about to move in to cover her mouth with his again, but then Damon noticed her defensiveness when he had jumped away from her.

Elena was thinking that Damon didn't really want her to kiss him back. Although a part of her was still desperately trying to fight what was going on between them, she really did want to. Her whole body had wanted to.

Through everything, Damon couldn't tell if she was finally giving in to what she might be feeling for him, or if Elena was just getting caught up in the day. A part of him didn't care either way. Pretend or not, the day had been almost perfect.

After a while, he smiled and reached out to take Elena's hand. Damon was surprised that she didn't even hesitate to let him take it. "Come on," he said as he pulled her towards the car.

Elena rolled her eyes, but let him lead her anyway. "You weren't actually serious about sleeping in the parking lot, were you?"

"We're not the only ones," he stated, pointing to a few other cars. "See?"

Elena looked around as they finally reached the car. Damon opened the door to the backseat. "I'm not sleeping in the car."

Damon wiggled his eyebrows. "Well, we don't have to sleep." She gave a truly classic Elena glare in response, then reluctantly climbed in. Smirking, he shut the door and walked around to the other side of the car.

As she watched him, Elena tried to collect her thoughts. She had a lot to think about, but Elena had been putting off thinking all day. Now that her talk with Damon was creeping closer, she was scared to death. Her thoughts strayed to a few days earlier when she had made her entrance at the Original's ball.

She had been met with a very cranky Damon, who was not pleased with her for showing up at the Mikaelson mansion. She knew that he had fully intended on making her leave, that is until she had accepted Stefan's arm. Elena now knew that Stefan's gesture was an unspoken "you lost, now get on board" to his brother. Damon offering his own arm was his way of giving in.

Elena thought again about the ball, and her foolish determination to see Esther. Damon had obviously known that dragging her onto the dance floor as a distraction was his only way of keeping her safe. When the time came to change partners, Damon was forced to let her go. He had unknowingly spun her away and Elena landed right into Stefan's arms.

She couldn't help but think that if she would never have danced with Stefan that night, then maybe she might not have gone to see Esther. If she had just been able to dance with Damon all night, then he would have been able to keep her distracted. Elena had told Stefan that Damon was just looking out for her. It was then that she started to see that Damon really did have a point.

Elena hadn't wanted to realize it at the time, but Stefan had been fanning the flames of her doubt. And when Damon had asked her if she had gotten what she wanted, Elena didn't know that he wasn't just talking about Esther. There was a lot Elena didn't know.

The snap of Damon's neck was nothing compared to the sting of Stefan's words. When his brother told him that he cared too much, it was almost as if he was saying Damon shouldn't care about Elena. The looks flitting between them and their soundless conversation seemed to speak volumes.

His brother's eyes told him all he needed to know. Stefan didn't have to say it. Stefan's eyes screamed at him, "stop caring about her...stop loving her...she doesn't love you back...she never will".

Elena reiterating that Damon _cared too much_ with her reaction to his declaration of love proved one of his worst fears. Damon had become the thing he never wanted to become. He had let his walls down, and all for nothing. Stefan's unspoken words were right. Elena didn't love him, she never would.

Elena didn't know why she had said what she said. She didn't mean it. She had even told Stefan that she didn't mean it. Then why did she? She still didn't know. And even though she had hurt Damon, Elena had still tried to reach Stefan.

He told her that he couldn't let himself feel, because he didn't want to feel the pain. The bitter irony of it all was only now registering with Elena. Stefan wouldn't open up to her, and that's all Damon had been doing...letting her in. Elena was only starting to realize how scary and how risky it was for Damon to open up himself to her.

Elena had asked Stefan to feel something because she was trying to get _her_ Stefan back, the one she had fallen in love with. However, when he had walked off her porch, an unknown emotion had filled her. Elena started to think that maybe Stefan really didn't care, and the unnamed emotion that had washed over her was relief. She might really be guilt free to want Damon, to actually be with him.

Elena was sure Damon was going to climb in the back of the car with her. She got a slight shock when he opened the front passenger side door. Elena watched Damon climb in the front seat and put the key in the ignition. "Good, your turning on the heat."

"No, just the radio." He turned the key, but didn't start the engine.

"You're not putting the heat on? Damon, it's freezing."

"If we run the car all night, the battery will die."

"Well, you may not have to worry about it, but I'll freeze to death."

Damon turned around to smirk at Elena. "Don't be such a baby." She glared at him, then her eyes went a bit wide as he proceeded to climb into the back with her. Damon felt her instinctively tense up as he grazed against her.

He held her gaze as he reached behind their seats. Her voice was a bit shaky when she spoke. "What are you looking for?"

"Something."

Elena frowned. "There's nothing back there."

"Oh, yes there is." He smirked, and leaned his head down so his cheek was pressed into the back of the seats. Elena looked down into his face, and gave him a confusing smile. "Blankets, blood, bottled water..."

Her smile dropped. "Did you just say blood?" She narrowed her eyes as she watched him. Damon pulled a fleecy looking blanket from the trunk area, then turned to route around in the back again. "You've been keeping blood in my car?"

"Just for emergencies. Here, drink this." Damon handed Elena a bottle of water, ignoring her apparent outrage at the blood.

"Is it even good anymore?" Damon had pulled two more blankets from the back. Through her own annoyance, Elena hadn't noticed Damon arranging a blanket on her lap.

"Well, like I said...emergencies. When it's an emergency it doesn't have to taste good. Funnily enough, when your drunk it's not half bad." Damon was balling up another one of the blankets.

He moved to put it behind her head. As Damon slowly moved over her, his gaze caught hers quickly. "Thanks." Elena heard the hitch in her own breath. He leaned back away from her. "So, the blood? Is that going to make you...not drunk?"

Damon smiled at her. "No, it'll just help the hangover." He took the other blanket, balled it up, and put it behind his own head. "Just like that water will do for you. So, drink up," he commanded.

Elena cocked her head to the side, but took a drink. "Happy?"

"I'm not completely unhappy." He said smirking. Damon took the IV line from the bag of blood and held it to his lips. Elena couldn't help but stare at the way he sucked at the makeshift straw. She swallowed hard. Damon broke her out of her trance by clearing his throat. Elena's eyes snapped up and he just let out a little chuckle.

She just glared at him. "When did you put all that stuff in my car anyway?"

He shifted a bit in the seat. "A little while after your little impromptu trip up the mountain. I also added some road flairs and a first aid kit." She gave him an odd look. "Apparently no one ever taught you road side safety."

She smiled softly. "Well, I'm glad I have you then."

Damon just furrowed his brows a bit, then out of nowhere he asked, "Are you comfortable? If you need more room, I can move back up to the front."

Her smile dropped. "No, I'm fine."

"Alright." Damon shifted again. "Then, it's time to talk about Stefan."

"I don't want to."

"Elena..." Damon dragged out her name into a complaint.

"I know I promised, but just a little longer." She gave him her classic big doe eyes, before looking down at her lap.

He started to waver a bit. As much as Damon wanted to rip the band aid off, he couldn't help but give in to that part of him that couldn't keep himself away from Elena. No matter how much it would hurt when he finally let her go.

"If your scared that it's bad news about Stefan, it's not." She was still looking down, so he repeated himself in a much more gentle tone. "It's not bad news, Elena."

"That's what I'm afraid of," she whispered under her breath.

"What?"

Her eyes darted back up at the confusion in Damon's voice. "Let's talk about something else first," she said quickly.

He huffed at her avoidance, but decided to give in. "Like what?" Damon let out an exasperated sigh, as Elena just shrugged. He gave her a hard glare before lightening up. "So, where's Ric? Off with doctor love?"

Damon had supplied his question a little eyebrow wiggle. It had no effect on Elena, who just answered in a melancholy tone. "I guess. He never came home last night."

"Good for him." Damon smiled. "He needs some action."

"Of course _you_ would say that."

"I'm not suggesting you try it, but sex without love...is still sex."

She just glared at him. "You do realize that makes you sound like a manwhore."

"I prefer sex god."

Elena rolled her eyes, then smirked. "So you're saying that you'll take sex however you can get it?"

It was Damon's turn to glare. "I see what you're trying to do."

"What?" She shrugged and tried to sound innocent. "I think it's fine if you're content with having bad sex." She gave him a dry smile.

"I don't know. In my opinion, bad sex...is still sex." She just rolled her eyes again. "Look, after all the luck Ric has had with women, even psycho-doc looks like a pretty good choice."

"Yeah, I guess."

"Wait." Damon took a moment to take in Elena's tight features. His eyes widened. "Are you jealous? Surrogate daddy not paying enough attention to you?" He gave her a pouty face.

Elena just frowned at him. "I'm happy for Ric. You're right, he deserves it."

"But..."

"It's nothing," she said casually, but the look on her face hinted that she wanted to say more.

Elena's eyes shot up when Damon brought a hand to her knee. He looked into her eyes and spoke with unmeasured concern. "Elena, what is it?"

She hesitated for a moment, but the way he was looking at her conveyed his interest for whatever was bothering her. "It's just that...with Jeremy gone, and Ric not there, the house is very...empty. It's too quiet. It's..." Elena paused, and seemed to shake off whatever came over her. When she continued, she was a little less vulnerable and more hardened. "And since I have to avoid Bonnie, and since I'm not sure how I'm feeling about Caroline..."

"Caroline?" Damon was almost sorry he interrupted when he saw the expression on her face. It was caught somewhere between irritation and frustration. When it looked like Elena wasn't going to give it up, he continued, "You know, in Barbie's defense, she did help with our 'Original' failed plan."

"Failed plan?" That got her. The hard lines in her face eased up a bit and she was eying him curiously.

"Yeah, well the Bennett's were kind of our last resort. We tried to dagger Kol first."

"You daggered Kol?" There was a tinge of confusion hanging off her words, before realization quickly dawned on her. The Originals had been linked. "That's what happened to Rebekah," she continued more to herself than to Damon.

"Yeah, well, it obviously didn't work on Klaus...who got extra pissed." He scoffed and shook his head.

Elena couldn't help but remember back to a certain night in the boarding house living room, Damon smashing a bottle of bourbon into the fireplace. When he had come to tell her that Stefan had stopped him from killing Klaus, he had been utterly defeated. And if the way he was looking now was any indication, Damon was obviously replaying the same series of events.

Elena decided she needed to break the silence a bit. She shifted in the back seat of the car a little and positioned herself to face Damon a bit more. "You know, Rebekah wouldn't have killed me."

"Do you really think that was a chance I was willing to take?" His voice was loud, but sincere and raspy. His eyes flashed with fire, before he tore them away from her to stare straight forward.

She kept the silence for a moment before speaking very quietly. "So, you did what you had to do." It was Elena's turn to get Damon's attention by slowly putting her hand on his knee. "People do almost anything to protect the things they value."

"Protect the things they value?" He brought his eyes up to hers and knitted his eyes together.

"We do things we abhor to protect the things that we value most...like family."

Damon drew his eyebrows together even more. "Abhor? Have you been compelled or something?"

Elena let out a little laugh. She rolled her eyes and turned away from him. Damon started to tense as Elena leaned her body back to rest up against him. "I'm just quoting something...someone once told me."

Damon's eyebrows couldn't get any closer so he just let his face relax a little. "Oh, is that so." He slowly moved his arm around Elena as she settled in closer. He heard her sigh as they both adjusted their bodies so she was nuzzled under his chin.

"I told you earlier Damon, I understand why you did what you did to Abby. I can't control everything...or everyone." She paused, waiting for a snarky comment. When she heard none, she furrowed her eyebrows, but smiled. "I think about how I hurt Bonnie by sending Jeremy away. She was so angry with me. But...I'd do it again."

Damon continued to stay silent. Elena started to speak but then a song filled the car, and she felt Damon pull her tighter.

_If you were here beside me instead of in New York  
>If the curve of you was curved on me<br>I'd tell you that I loved you before I ever knew you  
>'Cause I loved the simple thought of you<em>

There was a slight hitch in her breath before she felt her entire body go limp with comfort and contentment. Damon felt it, and just smiled to himself.

_If our hearts are never broken and there's no joy in the mending  
>There's so much this hurt can teach us both<br>There's distance and there's silence, your words have never left me  
>They're the prayer that I say every day<em>  
><em><br>Come on, come out, come here, come here  
>Come on, come out, come here, come here<br>Come on, come out, come here, come here  
>Come on, come out, come here, come here<em>

The song continued, and Damon's thumb found it's way down to the back of Elena's hand. He set to moving small circles on it before clasping it his own. When he only felt her body tense a little, he decided to take a chance and moved his other hand to her arm. Damon began to slowly stroke gently up and down with feather-light touches.

_The lone neon nights and the ache of the ocean  
>And the fire that was starting to spark<br>I miss it all, from the love to the lightning  
>And the lack of it snaps me in two<em>  
><em><br>If you were here beside me instead of in New York  
>In the arms you said you'd never leave<br>I'd tell you that it's simple and it was only ever this  
>There is nowhere else that I belong<br>_

After the soothing song ended, Elena heard Damon's voice softly speaking to her. "Elena? Are you asleep?"

"No."

"What are you thinking about?"

She sighed. "How I hate this tangled mess." Elena sighed again. This time it was deeper, filled with more anxiety. "I'm just hate feeling angry. I miss being happy, and feeling relaxed. I am so tired of worrying. I wish I could just turn it all off."

"Is that what today was about? Turning it all off?" It took Elena a moment to notice that Damon had stopped stroking her arm.

"Yes...and it worked." She have his hand a little squeeze. "Damon I had so much fun today. I haven't had a good day in a while. Thank you for helping me forget."

"Mm, hm," he snorted a stiff smile.

Elena let go of Damon's hand and sat up so she could look at him. "What? What did I say now?"

"It's not what you said, it's what you didn't say."

"What does that even mean?"

"Nothing." Damon tried to pull her back into him. She resisted at first, but only a little. "Come back here." He grabbed her around the waist, and pulled her in closer than she had been before. Elena felt her body relax again.

She couldn't help but smile at being back in Damon's arms. "This is nice, you know."

"Just tying to make sure you don't freeze to death. We wouldn't want that now." Elena let out a quiet little laugh. She relaxed into Damon as they once again listened to the music quietly pouring from the radio.

_Where there is desire  
>There is gonna be a flame<br>Where there is a flame  
>Someone's bound to get burned<br>__But just because it burns  
>Doesn't mean you're gonna die<em>  
><em>You've gotta get up and try, try, try<br>__Gotta get up and try, try, try  
>You gotta get up and try, try, try<em>

Elena noticed the slack in Damon's arms. He wasn't holding her very tight anymore. "Damon?"

"Yeah?" His voice was lost, and he seemed very far away.

"I thought maybe you'd fallen asleep."

_Funny how the heart can be deceiving  
>More than just a couple times<br>Why do we fall in love so easy?  
>Even when it's not right<em>

After another couple of moments of listening to the song that filled the car, Damon spoke. "What happened?" Elena shifted a bit in his lose arms, hearing the distance in his voice. "Something happened to us."

She tensed up, scared as to what he might say. "Damon?"

"Did I screw it all up when I kissed you?"

"What?" The way he was talking made Elena very apprehensive.

He sighed deeply before answering. "That night, on your porch...I should have never kissed you."

"Damon, what are you trying to say?" She was starting to hear the panic in her own voice.

"Elena, you miss me...your friend...the one who's there for you. When I kissed you, I made it impossible for me to be there for you the way I have been."

She pushed herself away and turned around to look at him. "Damon, stop it. You don't know what your saying."

"Yes, I do." Damon gave Elena a sad look. His voice was quiet and full of emotion. "I'm sorry. I should never have done it. I should have never let it happen. Elena, by kissing you I made it so we couldn't be friends like we were. I'm sorry I took that away from you. You used to be able to count on me, and now you can't."

"Yes I can! Elena was a bit taken back. She wasn't used to him rambling the way he was. "Damon, I can count on you."

Damon wasn't looking at her. He was staring straight ahead, furrowing his eyebrows. When he looked back at her his eyes were full of accusation. "Did you tell Stefan that you kissed me?"

"You know that I told him we kissed."

"Did you say _we_ kissed, or did you tell him _you_ kissed _me_?"

She tried to think back to the night Stefan was laying on the ground, Elena picking fragments of wood from his chest. She thought about her actual words. "Well, I..." Elena trailed off as some weird realization gracelessly washed over her face.

He frowned. "Elena, that's not what happened."

"What difference does it make?"

"_I_ kissed _you_. You didn't kiss me."

"But, I..." She really didn't know what to say, but felt like she had to say something.

Damon's words were quiet and sad. "Elena, you just let me."

"Isn't that bad enough?"

"Bad enough?" Damon huffed out.

Elena's eyes went wide. "No, that's not what I meant."

He looked hurt and dejected...then really, really pissed. However, Damon was quickly snapped out of it when he felt a dull punch in the arm. Although just because it felt dull, doesn't mean she had meant it to be. Damon looked up at Elena, who raised her fist up and brought it back down to him.

This time he caught her hand. "Elena." His voice was half way between a warning and an apology.

As soon as he caught it, she seemed to relax. Although there was still fire in her words. "Damon, for all the stupid things you say, I would think that you would be the last person to take everything that comes out wrong so...so...personal!"

She knew it was childish, but she roughly crossed her arms and threw herself back against the seat. Elena furrowed her brows as far as they would go and stared straight forward. She promptly let out a huff. Damon couldn't help but smirk a bit.

"You're right, ok?" Elena's wide eyed stare of surprise made him smirk a bit more. "I shouldn't be taking it all so personal."

Her whole demeanor changed. She no longer seemed mad, and was now sounding as apologetic as him. "I didn't mean it like that."

"I know." Damon offered her a warm smile. He took a minute to take Elena in. With her head half cocked toward him, she was biting her lip and gazing up at him. She looked so beautiful. Damon let his smile drop a bit. "You know," he sighed, "I just wanted one night. One more, before I had to give you back to Stefan."

"Give me back?" Elena unglued her self from the back of the seat, and scooted closer to Damon. "Why would you give me back? And what makes you think I'm anyone's to give away?"

He sighed and gave her a condescending look. When Damon spoke, his tone suggested he was talking to a small child. "Elena."

"Don't 'Elena' me," she snapped.

He was a bit taken back, but sighed and tried to continue. "Elena..."

"_Damon._"

The little attitude she had suddenly coped started to make him mad until he saw the look buried in her eyes. He knew it well. It was like looking in a mirror...using anger when you don't think you're going to get what you want. Damon didn't know what to say next.

They fell silent, and absentmindedly began to listen to the car's radio again. Damon tried to take her hand into his, but she pulled it back. Elena was angry again.

_If you ever leave me, baby  
>Leave some morphine at my door<br>'Cause it would take a whole lot of medication  
>To realize what we used to have<br>We don't have it anymore.  
><em>

Damon still wasn't sure if their day together had just been Elena's way of escaping, and that the previous days events still meant everything they had before. Or did she really want him?

_There's no religion that could save me  
>No matter how long my knees are on the floor<br>So keep in mind all the sacrifices I'm makin'  
>To keep you by my side<br>To keep you from walkin' out the door_

Even if Damon thought Elena really wanted him, he still couldn't let all his walls down. He was trying hard to keep the remaining ones up, the ones that he had shakily built by sleeping with Rebekah. But no matter how hard he tried, Damon couldn't help but feel those start to crumble too.

This time when he tried to take her hand, she let him.__

_'Cause there'll be no sunlight  
>If I lose you, baby<br>There'll be no clear skies  
>If I lose you, baby<br>Just like the clouds  
>My eyes will do the same, if you walk away<br>Everyday it'll rain_

"You want to give me back, but you just keep giving him back to me. Just like that stupid necklace..." Elena finished barely audible, with the last words under her breath.

Damon looked confused. "Your necklace?"

"No, it's not _my_ necklace. It was never _mine_." She grabbed her hand back. "It belonged to _Rebekah_, remember?" Elena spit out the vampire's name like she had been poisoned.

"Maybe we should talk about that too."

"But we already did. You just needed to get laid. To get in, and get off. That was all it was. It could have been anyone." She sounded a lot angrier than she had any right to be.

"And again, I didn't realize our _friendship_ prevented me from sleeping with other women, Elena."

"It doesn't."

"If it hadn't been Rebekah, if it had been someone else...would you still be this mad?"

"And I tried to tell you...I'm not mad!"

"Yeah, well the little veins in your forehead say you are." She glared at him. He took a deep breath, then looked up at her. "Elena, another thing you have to understand, about Rebekah...it's been...well, let's just say it's been a while." She was now looking at him suspiciously. "I haven't _been_ with anyone since Andie."

Her suspicion turned to shock and empathy. Now she was actually feeling a little bit bad. "You haven't...since Andie?" Elena really didn't know what to say. She let out a deep breath and softened her eyes. "You really cared about her."

"Look, I know it wasn't real. I mean she was my 'fake compelled girlfriend', but she was smart and funny and really insightful about...relationships." He had a distant look in his eyes. Elena wasn't sure, but it looked like he was lost in a memory. And the fact was that Damon was lost in a memory...a memory of a girl in a bathtub. _Love does that, Damon. It changes us._

"Damon?" Elena gently placed a hand on his to bring him back to their conversation. When she did his eyes were full of something she couldn't name. She furrowed her brows and desperately wanted to ask, but he didn't give her the chance.

Snapping out of it, Damon continued in the same tone he had begun in. "Besides, it was fun playing detective with her. I actually didn't have to compel her to help me track down Stefan. She offered. Hell, half way into it, I actually stopped compelling her altogether. Even before that, the only time she would actually _leave_ was when I compelled her to. I think it's the closest I've ever come to an actual relationship. I mean one that I didn't have to share. Then..."

"Then Stefan killed her." Elena whispered, knowing it couldn't have been easy for Damon to help her find Stefan after that, but he did it anyway.

"Yeah, well, I think I've given Stefan just as much heartbreak as he's given me." Damon looked up to see Elena staring down at her hand over his. He moved closer and intertwined their fingers. Elena's eyes darted to Damon's where she was met with two hot little blue flames burning bright. "Look, Elena, me and Rebekah..."

"Damon, you don't have to..."

He roughly cut her off. "No! Elena, I'm sorry if I made you mad. I wasn't trying to. I really wasn't." His words were so sincere.

Elena had to look away. "I wasn't mad."

"I really didn't do it to hurt you either." He hesitated to say want it really was, but did anyway. "It wasn't all because of you, and it really had nothing to do with her. It was more for me."

The air hung heavy between them. Damon was letting his walls down, and letting her in. Elena knew the pain he was opening himself up to, but he was doing it...for her. She felt she owed him something back, but couldn't think what to say.

After a few more moments of silence, Elena finally spoke. "Damon, I didn't mean to hurt you."

"Elena, it's fine. I've tried to tell you before, I don't do hurt. I just had to get some of my mojo back." He was trying to give her a classic smirk, but this time she could see right through him.

"Damon, you hurt. I've seen it. With Katherine...with Rose."

"With you." Damon hadn't meant to say it out loud, and the look on his face told Elena that he really regretted saying it.

Elena felt bad again. He had reopened his Andie wound, and now Elena felt like she had just poured salt unto it by mentioning Katherine and Rose. For some reason, Elena thought it might help the situation by also sharing something she might regret, so out of nowhere she said, "Did I ever tell you what Stefan said to me the night of the bonfire?"

It worked, because now he wasn't looking so tortured. Now he just seemed a little confused. "Huh?" He said almost incredulously.

"When you and Rebekah were flirting over marshmallows...the truth is I was jealous of your little distraction, and Stefan noticed. He told me to go ahead, that you'd be flattered. The first few weeks after he lost his humanity, it was almost like he was daring me. It was then that I was sure we'd lost him."

"He still caught you." Elena hadn't realized, but she was looking down at their hands again. At Damon's whispered words, she looked up and into his ocean blue eyes. They were a sea of emotion, and at that minute all she wanted to do was swim in them forever.

Elena let her head fall onto the back seat, and tightened her grip on Damon's hand. "I've really hurt you in the past, haven't I?"

"Elena, I told you I don't do hurt."

She sat back up, cutting him off fiercely, "And I told you that you do! You do care, Damon."

"Too much..."

"What?" He had said it so quietly that Elena had almost missed it.

"I care too much."

Elena was silent for a moment and when Damon didn't look up at her, it only took more of her words away. Most of his expression was unreadable, but there were two things she could definitely make out. One was bitterness, the other was a deeper hurt. "Where is that coming from?" She was only half asking him, and more asking herself. Elena was lost when she continued, "Because I never said anything like that."

"_You_ didn't." Damon said under his breath. Damon untangled their fingers, and shifted on the seat.

"Then who..." She stopped herself and looked at his face. "Stefan. Stefan told you that?"

"It really doesn't matter." He was starting to regret going down this path.

"No. Damon, what did he say to you?"

Damon replayed it in his head. When Stefan told him that he cared too much it was like he was saying "she doesn't love you back"_._ Damon couldn't help but think that he had also loved Katherine, and she didn't love him back either. "I said it doesn't matter."

Realization dawned on Elena. "It wasn't just me who hurt you."

He had a dry, tight smile on his lips. "You just put the cherry on top." Elena couldn't help the sympathetic look on her face. "Elena, don't look at me like that."

For a moment, she listened and looked away. Then something filled her and she unexpectedly jumped onto Damon's lap. She threw her arms around his neck, pulling herself close into him. "Damon, don't fight me." She breathed her words into his ear.

He let out the breath he was holding, and wrapped his arms around her. "Elena, what are we doing?"

"I don't know," she whispered, still holding on for dear life. "Do you think all this is because we're drunk?"

"All what?" Damon felt her start to pull away and almost didn't let her.

Elena positioned herself so she was straddling him, hands on his shoulders. "You being so open. Saying all these things. Being so..."

"So what?" Damon smirked at her with half-hooded eyes.

"Vulnerable...defenseless..." Elena let her fingers wander up to play with the back of Damon's hair. His smirk turned into a warm half-smile.

"You..." he drawled out, somewhere between a question and a command.

"Me what?"

"What about you?"

"Me," she started to say slowly, "I'm being...brave." Elena gave Damon the softest of smiles, but it was filled with all the emotions of rightness and contentment she was feeling. He couldn't help but force his overwhelming feeling of easiness into a smile of his own.

"Brave, huh?" He sighed. It was a sigh full of serenity and satisfaction, and his body followed by pulling her in closer to his chest. Her body melted in response.

Elena pressed her forehead to his. Their eyes met, and both of them held their breath. Elena closed her eyes, half expecting Damon to kiss her. When he didn't she pulled back and opened them. He was smiling at her sadly. Elena wished she knew why.

"We really _don't_ have to go back, you know." She said breathlessly.

"We really _do_ have to go back...eventually." Damon took both hands from Elena's back and ran them through her hair, releasing her messy bun.

"I don't want to think about it." She let out a small moan as he started to finger comb her hair. The corner of Damon's mouth twisted up at her reaction to his touch. "I don't think I want to go back."

Damon brought his hands up to cradle Elena's face. "Like I said, you'll change your mind."

"You're so sure of that." She wrapped her hands around his wrists and leaned into him again. This time Damon slowly let his lips brush against hers. Elena felt herself melt into his touch, and pressed her mouth firmly against his.

Damon carefully brushed his fingertips against her jaw line, then moved his hands to the back of her neck. Elena placed her hands back on Damon's shoulders. All the while they never broke their soft kisses. Damon pulled away first.

"We should get some sleep." His eyes were half-closed, his breath was raspy, and he didn't sound convinced.

Elena let out a small little laugh. "I think you're right." She climbed off his lap, but Damon pulled her back into him.

"Don't worry, I'll keep you warm," he smiled, and in one fell swoop he had moved them down onto the back seat of the car. Elena was stretched out over his body with her head on his chest. Damon wrapped his arms around her and before he could say goodnight, Elena was fast asleep.

/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/

**Final A/N; After that all I can do is run my hand across my forehead and say "One more to go!"**

**Reviews, good or bad, would be so greatly appreciated... I must have edited and re-edited this until I finally felt it couldn't get any better... so, feed back would be beyond amazing :)**

**Songs... New York by Snow Patrol, Try by Pink, It Will Rain by Bruno Mars**


	7. Chapter 7

"_Disclaimer: 1) a renunciation of any claim to or connection with; 2) a disavowal; 3) a statement made to save one's own ass" ~Kevin Smith, Dogma_

_In other words, we all know we don't anything TVD, we all wish we did...down to every last snarky comment (insert eye-thing and sexy smirk here)_

**A/N; OMG, 3x10 brought us an amazing Delena kiss, now 4x10 has brought us an amazing Delena "I Love You!" (P.S. What is it with Delena and phone scenes, huh?)**

**Anyway, do you know how incredibly elated I was that they used that song! (Snow Patrol's New York) First, that song is so perfect! And I couldn't believe it, because I used the exact same song in the previous chapter of this story! I only included part of the lyrics in my last chapter...so for fun, here are all of the lyrics...with the best lines highlighted, of course :)**

_If you were here beside me instead of in New York  
><span>If the curve of you was curved on me<span>  
><span>I'd tell you that I loved you<span> before I ever knew you  
>'Cause I loved the simple thought of you<em>

_If our hearts are never broken and there's no joy in the mending  
>There's so much this hurt can teach us both<br>There's distance and there's silence, your words have never left me  
>They're the prayer that I say every day<span>_

_Come on, come out, come here, come here_

_The lone neon nights and the ache of the ocean  
>And the fire that was starting to spark<br>I miss it all, from the love to the lightning  
>And the lack of it snaps me in two<em>

_If you were here beside me instead of in New York  
><span>In the arms you said you'd never leave<span>  
>I'd tell you that it's simple and it was only ever thus<br>There is nowhere else that I belong_

_Come on, come out, come here, come here  
><em>

_The lone neon nights and the ache of the ocean  
>And the fire that was starting to spark<br>I miss it all from the love to the lightning  
>And the lack of it snaps me in two<em>

_Just give me a sign, there's an end and not beginning  
>To the quiet chaos driving me mad<br>The lone neon nights and the walls of the ocean  
>And the fire that is starting to go out <em>

**So, here it is... The Last Chapter... It's nice and long, and I hope you enjoy reading it, as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed, favorited, and followed this story. Happy Reading!**

/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/

What I've Been Missing

"_We should get some sleep." His eyes were half-closed, his breath was raspy, and he didn't sound convinced. _

_Elena let out a small little laugh. "I think you're right." She climbed off his lap, but Damon pulled her back into him._

"_Don't worry, I'll keep you warm," he smiled, and in one fell swoop he had moved them down onto the back seat of the car. Elena was stretched out over his body with her head on his chest. Damon wrapped his arms around her and before he could say goodnight, Elena was fast asleep._

When Elena woke up to the morning light peaking in her eyes. She took in a deep breath, and let it out in a small little sigh. It was a sigh of contentment. Elena felt fingers running through her hair, and a hand rubbing her back. Damon was already awake. "Good morning."

Damon's hands stopped moving. Elena felt his head crane around and look at her. "Morning."

Damon looked so content and so happy, but then the crushing weight of sunlight fully fell into Elena's eyes. She realized with sadness that it was tomorrow. "What time is it?"

"Early." She felt one of his hands go back to playing with her hair. "Did I wake you?"

She gave a little moan. "No, the sun did." Elena snuggled up Damon's chest and into his neck. "How early?"

"About seven."

Elena felt like she had slept longer. She was so rested. She realized how long it had been since she truly had a few hours of contented sleep. "We only slept for a few hours?"

"Yep." Damon cocked his head to the side again. She was so beautiful in the morning. He smiled and she couldn't help but smile back. "But, we've been away from Mystic Falls for officially too long."

Elena sat up, and glared down at him. "You had to mention that place." Damon glared right back. So she just rolled her eyes and let out a sigh. "I know we have to go back."

Damon let out a little laugh. "Well, don't worry. First thing's first," he smirked, "We can't go back without getting a good southern breakfast."

"Is that so?" Elena smiled. Anything to draw this out. She laid her head on Damon's shoulder. The longer they put off going back, the better. There were so many things she didn't want to deal with.

"Well, I think the only gentlemanly thing to do is buy the lady breakfast."

"Do you know a good place?" Elena watched Damon start to throw their blankets in the back of the car.

"Any little diner will do. I'll even let you pick."

Damon turned to open his car door, but she grabbed his arm. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For last night. It meant a lot to me. And not just for helping me escape, but for the way you opened up and let me in. I know opening yourself up like that, to that kind of pain," Elena paused to look at Damon, who was staring straight into her eyes. His gaze was so intense, she had to look away. "Well, I know it wasn't easy, or particularly pleasant...but you did. You let me in. So, thank you."

He furrowed his eyebrows and looked down, then back up at her like he was lost in contemplation. He gave her one of his hiding smiles. One that didn't exactly reach his eyes, but told her he was trying. "Your welcome." She let go of his arm, and Damon opened the car door.

/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/

Damon and Elena had been driving for half an hour, when Damon finally spoke. "Hungover?"

Elena had been propping her head in her hand, while propping her elbow on the window. She glanced over at Damon, who had insisted on driving. "You're not?"

"Nope. Damon smirked. "I'm a big bad vampire." That made Elena smile. He loved making Elena smile. "How's your head?"

"Not too bad...if I don't move."

"Don't worry, a little bit of coffee and some nice southern biscuits will cure all that." He offered her a giant grin.

Damon's smile was contagious and she lifted her head to smile back at him. "What is it with you and food?"

He shrugged, then looked a little thoughtful. "You kind of appreciate it more when your not necessarily hungry for it anymore."

"I don't think I remember Stefan ever really eating much."

Damon's face tightened, and Elena instantly realized her slip up. "So, I'm guessing your ready to talk about him now."

"Damon."

"What, Elena?" He was a little more harsh then he meant to be. Part of him wanted to turn to her and tell her he didn't mean it, but he just looked forward at the road. Elena did the same.

It was daylight, and their escape was ending. No more pretending. All the talking and spilling of secrets the night before seemed like it hadn't happened, and they spent the next hour in silence.

/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/

Elena was still staring out the window, when her stomach growled for the third time in ten minutes. Damon stole a glance in her direction. She pretended not to notice. A moment later, Damon finally spoke.

"I promised you breakfast, remember?" Elena pulled her eyes away from the window to give him an uninterested look. He tried to smirk. "I know you're hungry."

"Ok," she said slowly, "But you pick." Damon looked over to see Elena smiling back at him.

Damon let the edge's of his mouth twist up a bit. "How about the next one we see?"

"Alright, that one then." Elena nodded over to Damon's side of the road, and he saw the large red sign reading _I-85 Diner _in white lettering.

"I was hoping you'd say that." Damon flicked on the car's turn signal. "Probably the last one before we cross the Virginia state line."

"Good, I'm starving."

"Yeah, I heard." Elena rolled her eyes at a smirking Damon, but she smiled anyway.

/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/

They were still more than an hour away, but Elena could already feel the town lines of Mystic Falls creeping up on them. If she had to be honest, it was making her a little panicky.

Once they had their coffee in front of them, Elena had insisted that Damon do the ordering. He eyed her up suspiciously, but turned to the menu and obliged. She tried to stifle a smile at his obvious excitement.

Elena joked that his eyes were bigger than his stomach, but Damon simply said they were going to share. He had ordered buttermilk biscuits with sausage gravy, grits, blueberry pancakes, bacon, and a large plate of hush-puppies. When their food arrived, Damon admitted she was right.

They were half way through their breakfast, when Damon decided to stop the chit chat. "So, there's still a lot that we need to talk about." He took a sip of coffee, then looked up at her. "There are some things I need to tell you...things you need to know."

Elena set down her fork, and frowned. "You want to talk about Stefan."

"I don't _want_ to talk about Stefan." He sounded bitter. Damon took a deep breath, and his voice softened a bit. "But, I think we need to talk about Stefan."

"You _think_?" Elena picked her fork back up and stabbed at the plate of blueberry pancakes between them.

Damon narrowed his eyes at her. "I _know_ we have to."

"Stefan thinks I've changed," Elena said, a little out of the blue. Damon looked a little amused, as if he knew she was trying to distract him.

"Is that so?" He smirked.

"He thinks I'm stronger, and he thinks it has to do...with you," Elena took a pause to look up at him. His smirk was gone. "Some of it has, but..."

"But what?" His tone was clipped and cold. "Ah wait, don't tell me...going through all this with Stefan, holding out hope that you'd get him back...has given you your real strength." The approaching city limits must have been wearing on Damon as well, because he was getting snarkier.

Elena just stared at him with an open look of irritation on her face. "If you sleeping with Rebekah didn't have anything to do with me, then why on earth do you think everything I do has to do with you and Stefan?" She grabbed the piece of bacon out of Damon's hand. "Get over yourself."

His eyes went wide, then he smirked softly. "You're sassy this morning. I like it."

Elena only gave him a quick eye roll, as he gave her his classic eyebrow wiggle. She ignored him as she continued, "Did you ever stop to think that I've changed because a killer hybrid has been after me?"

"Do tell," Damon said flatly.

"Klaus has killed me, convinced Stefan to drain my blood, then drain some more of it. He killed Jenna. It's because of him I had to send my brother away. He's responsible for so much more."

"Elena." He said her name apologetically. Now he felt bad.

"You think going through all that didn't change me, Damon? I know I may act self-righteous sometimes, but I don't know how else to act. If I don't think that way, then I don't know how to get through all this."

"Well, you've gotten through it, haven't you?" She wasn't looking up at him so he took a chance and said, "We always survive." That got her attention.

Elena looked up at him and gave him a quick smile. "We do, don't we?" Damon returned her warm smile.

"Yeah, well...you don't just have me. You have Ric, and Caroline, and Bonnie..." She scoffed. Damon continued, "And Donovan. Did I miss something?"

"Freaking Bonnie!" Damon's eyebrows shot up. "Esther asked Abby and Bonnie to be part of the ritual. It was their choice to be there."

"Elena?" Damon was glancing around the diner.

"Why am I so angry? I mean I am really angry. All I've done is try to be a good friend. I went with her to find her mother and everything. You know, she's the one..."

"Elena!" Damon cut her off and motioned to the heads turned their way. Elena didn't realize she was yelling.

She looked embarrassed. "Sorry." She lowered her voice, and leaned forward. "Caroline is with Bonnie."

Damon narrowed his eyes as she continued. "Ok," he said slowly.

"When did Caroline become the expert on everything? You know she has a thing for Klaus. Klaus! Caroline of all people is lecturing me on giving Bonnie time, and to put myself in her shoes."

"Mm-hm."

"Because apparently everything bad that happens is because of me. You know, never mind that Bonnie and Abby went to join Esther of their own free will. And Caroline, acting like she's the best-est friend a girl could have. Well a best friend would not fall for the guy is responsible for all this misery in the first place..." Elena only stopped ranting when she ran out of breath.

Damon was eying her with an odd expression. "You done?"

Elena let out a deep breath. "I think so."

"Feel better?"

"Much!" He was eying her warily, but then she smiled. Damon couldn't help but give her a warm smile back.

Damon and Elena were still smiling when their waitress came over to check on them. They stayed quiet until she cleared their not so empty plates and refilled their coffee cups. After thanking her, Elena leaned back across the table.

"Damon, I want to be mad at you. I probably _should_ be mad at you, but I just can't. I'm not sure why I can't bring myself to be. So, I've just resigned myself to the fact that I'm not mad at you."

He had an extremely puzzled look. "I thought you being angry with me was like," he paused and gave her a little smirk, "the basis of our relationship."

"I thought it was too." Elena returned his smirk. "I guess you'll just have to get used to me not being angry with you."

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Damon and Elena talked through two more cups of coffee before finally falling into a comfortable silence. Neither one of them wanted to admit that they were trying to stay in the diner as long as possible. Damon brought his coffee cup to his lips, hiding the small smile playing across his mouth.

They had bonded over food and books. Damon finally coaxed some excitement out of Elena when he brought up ice cream. Her eyes lit up as she went through her favorite flavors of Ben & Jerry's. Elena learned that most of the books she admired in the Salvatore's library were Damon's. He even recited a line from one of her favorites, Jane Austen's Sense and Sensibility.

When Elena couldn't wait any longer, she finally asked, "So, what happens when we get back?"

"I've been wondering that myself." He narrowed his eyes a little bit, staring down into his coffee.

"Can we talk about us?" Her voice was quiet.

Damon looked up for a moment. "What about us?" He kept his eyes narrowed.

"Why are you being like this?"

"Because," Damon sighed, and let his face relax a bit, "All the alcohol has worn off."

"So, what? I have to keep you drunk now?" She let a smile tug at the edge of her lips.

Damon cracked a bit of a smile. "You want to keep me?"

"Maybe." Elena's own smile grew.

He looked away and let a quiet chuckle escape. Elena took a sip of her coffee and watched as a thought flitted over Damon's face. "You know, I find it a little odd that Ric hasn't called to check up on you."

She smirked, "That's because I turned my phone off."

Damon narrowed his eyes. "You what!?"

"I was escaping, remember? Besides, if there's an emergency, he'll just call you."

"He can't."

Elena's smile was gone. She went pale, and looked at Damon with wide eyes. "Why?" Elena's voice was full of apprehension.

"Because my phone is off," Damon said through gritted teeth.

"What! Why would you do that?"

"Because I'm me. Why would you?"

"I told you I was escaping."

They looked at each other with worried faces. "We need to go." With that, Damon threw a handful of twenties on the table and they both grabbed their coats.

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They were both leaning on the front of Elena's car. Damon had his phone to his ear, listening to his missed messages. As soon as Elena's phone turned on, she frowned. "I have fifteen text messages and like eight voice messages. Most are from Matt."

Damon held up a hand to silence her. His brows were deeply furrowed, and his mouth was a tight line. He pulled his phone away. "We have to get back home. I'm driving." She watched as he walked to the driver's side.

"Damon, what happened? What is it?" Elena stayed standing by the hood of the car. He could see the rising panic in her.

"Elena, just get in. I have to call Liz."

"Sheriff Forbes? Damon! What happened?"

He came back around, and took her by the shoulders. "Elena, I don't know yet. Just get in." She nodded, and ran around to the passenger side of the car. Damon took a deep breath before getting in the car and pulling out of the diner's parking lot like a bat out of hell.

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"He what? What the hell happened?" Damon wasted no time dialing Sheriff Liz Forbes. He had one hand on the wheel and one hand holding his phone.

"Damon, what is it? What's going on?"

"Liz, just don't," he paused. "Liz!" He paused again. "I'll be there soon."

Elena couldn't stand it anymore. "Damon!"

Damon exhaled deeply. "Elena, don't freak out, but Ric's in the hospital."

"What?"

"He's fine. Don't worry, but we have to get back."

"What happened?"

"I'm not sure exactly." Damon gripped the steering wheel with both hands. "But...something's just not adding up."

"What did Sheriff Forbes say?"

His face tensed up the way it did when he drank vervain. "Elena."

"What did she say?" Damon glanced at her. Her tone was full of authority.

"Elena, Ric's been shot."

She felt her heart jump into her throat. "What?"

Damon spoke in a gentle, but firm tone. "He's fine. Like I said, he's in the hospital."

"Oh my god. Damon, we have to get back!"

"I know." He pulled a hand away from the steering wheel and placed it on her knee. "Just listen to me. Meredith Fell found him. They don't know who shot him. Elena, the thing is..." Damon had paused. She knew he was serious when he called her Meredith, and not psycho-doc. "Liz said that Dr. Fell found him yesterday morning...at your house."

"But...that's not possible. He wasn't home yesterday morning."

"I know, and I can vouch for you."

"Why would you need to vouch for me? What are you not telling me?"

She watched him take a deep breath and glance her way. "Elena, everything is going to be fine." He gave her a weak smile and placed both hands back on the wheel.

Elena felt her breath hitch. "Damon?"

"Look, Ric is going to be ok...and you were with me. So, it's fine. Everything's going to be fine." Damon was trying to sound nonchalant.

"Sheriff Forbes thinks I had something to do with it." Elena looked away in disbelief.

"Of course not."

"Damon...Ric never came home the night before last. How could Meredith have found him there?"

"I don't know, but we're going to get to the bottom of it. I promise." He reached over again and gave her knee a tight squeeze, before placing his hand back on the wheel.

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They were less than an hour away, and Elena had stayed quiet the entire time. Damon was concentrating on flying down the road at what would be an unsafe speed, if he wasn't a vampire with excellent reflexes.

The silence was lifted when, out of nowhere, she said, "Damon, I can't lose him."

"You won't," he told her firmly.

"He's my family."

"I know."

Elena took a deep breath. "One of us should probably call Stefan." She looked as guilty as she felt.

Damon couldn't hide his frown. "Yeah, we probably should." He tensed up as he continued. "Look, Elena...we're going back to reality. So, last night...we can just forget it."

"I don't want to forget it." Her voice was quiet and full of hurt.

"I told you, you'll change your mind once we get back." He steeled himself to continue. "I'm not expecting anything to change."

"You think that's what I'm doing? Changing my mind? You really don't get it." She shook her head and turned to look out the window.

"Elena, let's just focus on getting back." Damon heard her let out a sigh. He glanced over, but she was still staring out her window. He turned back to look at the road, but he stopped when he heard the crestfallen tone in her voice.

"I'm losing everyone, Damon. Soon, I won't have anyone left." Elena shut her eyes tight. "I'm going to end up all alone."

Damon felt his heart sink. The only thing he wanted to do in that moment was envelope her in his arms and never let her go. "Elena, you're not alone."

"When I left the cave I was alone."

"Elena." He was sure his heart couldn't sink any lower.

"There was no one there. So, the first thing I did was go to see Bonnie. You know, Caroline wouldn't let me see her. Bonnie didn't even _want_ to see me. Caroline thinks I should give Bonnie space, time to deal."

"Elena, I'm sorry."

"Don't..." She was deadpan when she spoke.

"No. Elena, I really _am_ sorry."

"No. I mean you don't have to be." Elena finally turned away from the window. When Damon caught her face, it was imploring and unwavering. "I don't want you to be sorry, Damon. We all make choices. Bonnie and her mother made the choice to go with Esther, I made the choice to go off with Elijah, and you made the choice to save me."

Damon took a deep breath, and braced himself. "Stefan made that choice too. He would have done it. He would have saved you. I just beat him to it."

"But you're the one who did. You saved me." Her voice was so full of tenderness now that it physically hurt him to continue.

"We both did."

"What are you talking about?"

"Elena, he was all set and ready. I just got to pull the trigger."

Elena let out an exasperated sigh. "You make it sound like you _wanted_ to kill Abby." Her tone had become a bit harsher.

"At least I didn't _actually_ kill her," Damon scoffed.

"No, you did worse. You turned her into the thing that Bonnie hates most."

"I've told you before, estranged is better then dead."

Elena was about to respond, but her thought got lost. She huffed out a little breath. "I know."

"Anyway, I thought you weren't mad."

"I'm not," she said gently. Elena furrowed her brows before she continued, "But, can I ask you something?"

"Sure," Damon said, sounding very unsure if he wanted to answer whatever question Elena was going to ask.

"When I was down there with Rebekah...well, I haven't felt that way since Stefan bit me. Only...that time you were there for me. This time you..." Elena trailed off. She glanced over at Damon who was intensely frowning at the road in front of them. "Damon, why weren't you there this time?"

After what seemed like an eternity, Damon finally answered. "Elena, after everything, I was sure I was the last person you wanted to see."

"You were the only person I wanted to see!" Her emotions were caught somewhere between irritation and utter frustration. She was met with the same exasperation from Damon.

"How was I supposed to know that?" They shared a quick glare. "Elena, you know that I'll always be there if you need me."

"Well, I do!" She promptly cut him off, then hesitated. "But..."

"But what?"

Elena shook her head. If Damon didn't know better she was shaking away tears. Elena went back to staring out her passenger side window. "Last night, you said you just wanted one more night."

"And that's what I got." Damon threw a half-smile Elena's way, but she was still staring out the window. He narrowed his eyes and stared at the road.

"So, that's all I get from you? One night?" He gave her a quick sideways glance. To Damon's surprise, she was staring at him with big doe eyes. "What if I want more?"

Damon pulled his eyes away and stared hard at the road again. When he spoke it was through slightly gritted teeth. "Elena, you had your chance to have more."

"So, you're just going to ignore everything then. Because now, we're headed back...back to everything. I thought this was what..." Elena couldn't say another word. She turned to look out the window again, trying to fight back the tears.

Damon's ears pricked up to the slight hitch in Elena's breathing. He hated seeing Elena upset. He hated being the one to make her upset even more. Nearly every bone in his body was telling him to comfort her, but a small part of him just couldn't let go. He couldn't accept it all.

"Elena, pretending aside...if that had really been _what did it for you_ we wouldn't be having this conversation. But it wasn't. You were still pining for Stefan. Locking him in cells, and checking him into vampire rehab."

"Pull over," she choked out.

"Elena."

"Pull over!" Elena shouted while opening the door, ready to jump out of the moving vehicle.

Damon swerved the car over and it came to an abrupt halt. Elena jumped out and slammed the car door. Damon followed suit and slammed his door as well. "Are you crazy? What the hell do you think your doing?"

"I was alone when I left that cave. You weren't there! I needed you, and you weren't there," she screamed. Elena started walking down the side of the road, storming away from the car. Damon followed her. "You promised me you'd never leave me again."

"You make it kind of hard when _my love is a problem_."

Elena turned around to face him. "You know I didn't mean that."

"Elena, the thing is, you did. And it's fine. Stefan's back to his broody self, which means you don't need me anymore. My brother deserves you again...more than me."

"What are you talking about?" Elena threw her hands in the air.

"Let's just say the furry little forest creatures of Mystic Falls are once again living in fear." He narrowed his eyes in disdain, then let out a humorless chuckle. "At least there's a bright side. I don't have to worry about sharing my blood bags anymore."

Elena's mouth dropped open. She stared at Damon in disbelief before speaking quietly. "Stefan's drinking on animal blood again?"

"Yep. So, he's back. It's good for you two."

"Yeah, I guess." Her eyes drifted away, and her eyebrows started to furrow.

"You guess? Elena, haven't you been pinning long enough."

She snapped her eyes back up to glare at him. "Haven't you?"

"I'm not really sure what that means." Damon glared right back before turning around and walking back to the car.

Elena tilted her head and let out a sigh. "Damon, wait."

"Wait for what?" He said to himself, still walking away.

"Damon, I care about you." Elena let out a gasp as she felt a rush of air in front of her. In a split second Damon was inches in front of her.

He searched her face, then sadly stated, "But you don't love me."

Elena was still taken back by his vampire speed. She grasped at what to say. "I could."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" He started to back away from her.

"Damon, I really do care about you." Elena stepped forward and reached for his hand. "You have become my best friend, and I'm so grateful for that."

He roughly pulled his hand back. "Elena, we need to get back in the car and go." He turned away from her and started walking to the car again. Elena followed him.

"Damon, tell me why you did it. Why did you turn Abby?"

"You know why." He yelled over his shoulder as he continued back to the car.

"No! Why you, and not Stefan?"

"Elena, I don't even know why we're talking about this."

"Because, Damon, I want to know why _you_." She caught up to him and grabbed his arm. He let Elena stop him, and turned around to face her.

Damon's features now looked tired and weary. "Elena, what does it even matter."

"Because I want to know!" She got in his face and yelled. Damon inched closer to her and yelled right back.

"Fine! You want to know why? I did it so you would hate me, and not Stefan. Stefan is getting better, and now everything is the way it should be. Me making the rash stupid decisions, Stefan hunting down cute little forest critters, and you safe and sound."

Elena's face fell. Her eyes grew with concern as her eyebrows knitted together. Damon looked into her eyes, but then shook his head like he was shaking her off. Afraid he might start walking away again, Elena grabbed one of his arms with both hands.

"Your so willing to play the bad guy. Why?"

"So someone else can be the good guy, of course." He smirked.

Elena let her hands fall. They balled up into clenched fists at her sides. "Don't! Don't do that. Don't just play me off like that."

"Elena, look," he started in an disingenuous tone, "This little role I've been playing...filling in for...well, it's over. Admit it, Stefan being the old Stefan makes me the odd man out, and you don't need me to play his understudy anymore."

Waves of emotion washed over Elena. In an instant, all her anger was gone. It was replaced by a mixture of every single feeling she had experienced in the last twenty four hours. Hurt. Happiness. Fear. Joy. Jealousy. Longing. Contentment.

"Is that what you think you are?" What had she done? All Elena wanted to do was wrap Damon up in her arms.

"I don't have to think it, Elena. I know it." His words were practically laced with poison.

"Just because Katherine picked Stefan, doesn't mean I always will."

"You already have. What happened to _it will always be Stefan_?"

"Damon, people make mistakes." He wasn't making this easy on her. "You of all people should know that."

"Elena, we need to go. We don't have time for this. Once we're back in Mystic Falls, none of this will matter anyway." He let out an exasperated sigh.

"Will you stop saying that!"

"Why? You know it's the truth."

"No, it's not!" Elena could feel tears start to well up in the back of her eyes.

"Yes, it is! It's always that way!" He lost a little bit of anger, and looked into her deep brown eyes. "Elena, we really need go back."

"Not yet. We can't go back." She shook her head slowly, and whispered, "I don't want to go back."

Damon looked at her confused. "Elena, we have to. Alaric..."

"I don't mean that." Elena quickly cut him off. "I don't want to go back to what we were. I'm not going back until you promise me that things will be different." Her voice held the perfect amount of warmth and rawness. All Damon's anger was gone.

"Elena, you know what I want...what I've wanted for so long." He brought his hand up to caress the side of her face. Elena closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. "But..." With that one word her head bolted up and her eyes shot open. His eyes were far away. It was like looking into a sea after a thunderous, violent storm. "I just don't know if I can believe that. I'm not sure I can believe you."

He slowly pulled his hand away from her face. "Damon..." His honesty cut her worse than a knife. It took all she had to speak again. "What can I do?"

She felt his fingers under her chin, and he slowly raised it so she would look back into his eyes. When he spoke, his voice was barely above a whisper. "Convince me." Damon's eyes looked hopeful, even though he smiled sadly at her.

"How can I do that?"

"If you don't know, then I can't tell you." He took his hand away from her face once more, and turned to walk away. "We really need to go now."

She couldn't let him walk away. This couldn't be over. "Damon, stop!" She expected him to turn back around but, he didn't.

Damon yelled over his shoulder. "Come on, Elena." She felt a panic rise in her chest as Damon continued walking.

"Laundry," she shouted. This time Damon turned around. He gave her one of the most confused looks she had ever seen him give her. Actually, it was a cross between confusion and one that indicated she may have lost her damn mind.

"What?"

"Laundry."

"Yeah, I heard what you said, I just have no idea..."

She cut him off. "Do remember when my washer broke over the summer? We loaded my car up, and you helped me do laundry at the boarding house."

"I remember the black lacy underwear." Damon smirked a bit, then narrowed his eyes when he saw how serious she was. "What about it?"

Elena didn't answer. She just walked straight up to him. She was so close that he had to look down into her eyes. Damon's face softened, but his eyebrows were still drawn together. Then she spoke, quietly and gently. "Damon, you're there in the everyday. I can..." She looked away from him, like her eyes were chasing some far off thought. "I can do laundry with you." She smiled and looked back at him.

"You couldn't do laundry with Stefan?" He wasn't annoyed, he was still just a little bit confused.

"Damon, that's not my point."

"What _is_ your point, Elena?"

She took a deep breath, and looked like she was concentrating on her words. "Damon, you are the one thing in my life that I am absolutely sure of. A part of me knows that I'll never, ever lose you. We might fight, and we might hate each other sometimes, but...but you are the one person who I can hate without being afraid that you'll run away." She changed her tone a bit when she saw his eyebrows knit together. "But it's not really hate. Everything the world throws at me, you take the brunt of it...and you stay. You always stay. I need you in my life. I don't think my existence would make sense without you."

Damon tilted his head and considered what Elena just said. She saw his eyes crinkle, the way they did when he was completely torn in two. She waited, but Damon just sighed. "I told you, I'll always be here for you."

Elena took a few careful steps forward. "I don't just need your friendship anymore. I need you." She let her words wash over him, before continuing, "Damon, I want to be with you. All I could think about yesterday morning was you. I can't stop it anymore, and I don't want to."

He wanted to believe her. Damon desperately wanted to let everything go, and fall into Elena's words.

How was it possible that twenty four hours ago she had shown up at the Boarding House to tell him she was escaping Mystic Falls. Less then forty eight hours ago he thought she would never forgive him for the lengths he had to go to, to keep her life safe. And only two days ago she had thrown his love for her back in his face.

"What changed? Yesterday morning all you wanted to do was escape. The past couple days, you didn't seem like you even wanted me near you. You didn't seem like you were ready for any of this."

"I wasn't," she told him honestly. "But I am now." Her words held total conviction. Elena took a few more steps toward Damon.

Damon let out a small dry laugh. "Now you're ready?" His face tightened, and his eyes narrowed.

"Yes." Elena closed the rest of the distance between them and reached for Damon's hand. He watched Elena take it and place it over her heart. His lips stayed tight, but his eyes grew a little wider.

They both stayed silent. Elena kept her hand over Damon's. He desperately searched her face. "How can I be sure?"

"Because..." Elena let go of his hand and turned away from him, shaking her head. In the blink of an eye, she turned right back around and breathed, "Because I love you!"

She was waiting for him to smile. When he didn't, she took a chance and leaned up to press her lips against his. Her body overflowed with relief when she felt his arms slide around her lower back. She pulled back to look at him.

This time he smiled at her, then leaned back into her mouth as he began to kiss her deeply and passionately. Damon poured everything he had into their kiss, like it would be the last time he ever had the chance to touch her. Elena couldn't believe how a devouring kiss could still hold an unbelievable about of love and gentleness. They both pulled away in a gasp.

"Wow," Elena whispered. When her eyes refocused, they were staring into pools of baby blue.

Damon brought a hand up and brushed a piece of hair behind her ear. He gave a little laugh at her comment, then pressed one more gentle kiss to her lips. "Can we get back in the car now?"

"Did I convince you?" Damon just smiled again and nodded his head. He brought his forehead to hers, and they both let out a deep sigh.

"Now," he pulled back to look at the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, "Back to Mystic Falls?"

"Back to Mystic Falls."

_The End_

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Final A/N; Thank you once more to each and every reviewer and follower. I hope you enjoyed What I've Been Missing. I may be working on a short sequel, maybe three or four chapters long. The sequel will be published under the name _Back to Mystic Falls_. It will be an alternate version of the murder mystery (and Alaric will not be the murderer) If you are interested, please add me to your author alerts.

Til next time... Xoxo, Jenn :)


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